Thursday, April 22, 2010

I'm having attacks.......

I have a lot of irons in the fire these days, maybe too many.

The past few days have found me in some kind of not so nice state.

I finally figured it out, I'm having apoplexy attacks.

An apoplexy attack, yes, exactly.

That phrase jumped out at me as I searched my mind for what word might accurately describe what I am feeling.

I hadn't heard it in a long, long time, and had no idea what it even meant.

Maybe I heard it when I eavesdropped on one of my mother's 1960's-70's conversations.

They talked weird back then.

I was relieved when a Google search popped up the word.

And theWikipedia definition fit.

Apoplexy is an outdated medical term, which can be used to mean 'bleeding'.

It can be used non-medically to mean a state of extreme rage or excitement.

Outdated, uh-huh.

Medical term, yep (a self proclaimed hypochondriac picks up on those kinds of words).

Bleeding??? Not recently. (In case you're new here, I'm mennnnnnnnnnnnn ah, never mind).

A state of extreme excitement and rage?

Yesterday at work I had a bit of both.

Standing around waiting for the magic moment we begin class I listened as the children (my loveable thugs) talked. The conversation centered around April 20th.


Wikipedia says this about 4/20,

4/20 is a way to identify oneself with cannabis subculture. The date 4/20 is sometimes referred to as "Weed Day" or "Pot Day.

Okay, sitting around talking about pot is not a normal in most people's lives, unless maybe you knew what 4/20 meant before I schooled you????

Then maybe you do sit around and talk pot.

Anyway, many conversations at my work center around pot.

Who dropped dirty? Who is expelled for thinking they could outsmart the staff and sneak outside and smoke a blunt?

They talk about other not so nice things too...

This is what you drink, eat, smoke, inhale, shoot up, to get high, to make your pee clean, to quench your munchies. To get higher than high.


Sometimes I wanna  hit them, honestly I do.

Instead, I just stop the talk and gather it around more appropriate things like measuring cups and funnels.

Today, before I could do just that, I had an apoplexy attack, which came about in the form of hysterical laughter.

One of my students, a blonde whose beauty may very well make up for her lack of grey matter stared wistfully skyward and whispered in her soft Marilyn Monroe like voice "I wish 4/20 was my birthday, wha'da party that would be, when I'm old enough maybe I'll change my birthday".

My mouthful of sugar coated Corn Flakes almost came out of my nose.

And that discussion turned into this discussion.....

"Did you see that? Miss Beth just choked on her Corn Flakes"

And onward our morning marched.

In class, we were short staffed.

And the strong smelled the weak.

After much coaching (begging) and encouragement (threatening) they did as they were asked.

And soon we were cleaning up the mess.

One very tall young man, who (somehow) wears the waist of his pants down around his knee caps was not in a very cooperative mood.

He'd worked, but I nearly had to do a handstand and spit nickels out my ass to get him to.

This morning's class was almost over, there was one thing left to do and that was to put the chef coats and aprons from the washer into the dryer.

I called out to him, as he was the closest to me.

"Come help me" I said

He looked at me.

"Come help me" I said again.

He looked at me.

"Come help me.. I need you" I said

He looked at me.

And then I had another apoplexy attack.

You would have thought I was home and with the children of my womb when I did what I did next.

I pulled out a pile of wet chef coats and I threw them at him.

They flew through the air, and when his hands failed to deflect them they hit him in the chest and rolled down his body till they hit the floor.

You might have heard a pin drop except the other loveable's collective sharp intake of breath made it impossible to hear anything over the sound of their shock.

They stared at both of us waiting to see what would happen next.

The big, tall, very angry loveable turned and walked out the door.

I was glad he choose that instead of pounding me into the ground.

I followed him and apologized for my lack of judgment. I told him that I was plain wrong to throw clothes, or anything, for that matter at him.

I let him walk it off, hoping he'd take in and accept my apology.

In the mean time the others were deep in conversation when I got back into the room.

"Miss Beth is going crazy" I overheard one say "this morning, she spit her Corn Flakes right out on the table".


  1. Wow. What a bad day. I know today will be better. Maybe you can blame it on "you know what". Hope springs eternal.

  2. In the movies this would be the moment that the rough, tough group of loveables realise you are really on their side and that with a bit of team work they could all sort out their lives and fulfill their great destinies. Those blasted movies.

    Sorry for the bad day. I'm glad you didn't get pounded into the ground(although wouldn't that have made another great story for your blog?!).

  3. Dear PPB: OMG I love this blog. I have been laughing my *** off at every line. I know how difficult it is to stay cool with these "darlings". they are so lucky it was only a momentary glitch and that you will be back to their old Beth.. You will be?? . Although it is wise to let them see that you are human after all...I'll bet they will "behave" for some time...I am so pleased that you share these things with all of us.. What a joy you are!!!!!Love Me

  4. Sounds like a very tough day... Here's to better days!

    Love to you

  5. Thank you Kelly...the days do get better, thank the good Lord.

  6. Thank you too Marmie, LD and Nicola for the loving comments and good wishes. xoxoxo


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