As part of my Motherhood Mission Statement (the big rant most of us know-it-alls have and share with our friends and anyone else who will listen before we even have any children) I stated that I would always be truthful with my children….that statement turned into a lie.
Googie’s phobia has made a liar outta me.
The technical term for Googie’s psychosis is Emetopohia, which is the fear of vomit or vomiting.
At our house we can’t call the flu the flu.
It doesn’t matter if you have body quaking chills, a 103.5 temperature, and are pooping pearly white foam…it’s “something that you ate”.
That way Googie can’t catch it.
Recently, poor Bear came down with a horrible case of “something that he ate”.
It was a very busy week in Googie’s life, she had her internship to finish, she had things to do with her show, she had work, and a ton of homework and I couldn’t risk having her go off the deep end by telling her about Bear’s ailment so we made a plan.
Daddio, Bear, Trouble (Googie’s fiancé) and I all agreed to keep Bear’s condition a secret from Googie.
It wasn’t easy.
She was so busy she didn’t seem to notice me walking through the house wearing elbow high gloves and carrying around an industrial sized bottle of Lysol.
She did notice her brother, laying on the couch, sea foam green colored. She noticed his sunken, red rimmed eyes and his parched lips.
She noticed how he hugged the blankets tightly to his chest.
WHAT is wrong with him?” she asked nodding at the blanket covered heap on the couch.
“He has a cold” I lied.
“A cold? She mocked
“Look at him, ohhhh poor baby” she smirked.
“What a freakin baby…He has a little tiny cold and he’s on the couch, laying there like he’s dyin”.
“Guys are such babies, look at me, I have a cold TOO and I’ve been sick for days and somehow I'm managing to go on with my life. I'm not laying around nursing it”.
“Un-believable!!!! she rubbed it in. “He just wants you to baby him”.
I sat at Bear’s feet and stroked his leg and watched as he took his sister’s insulting tongue lashing.
He must really love you Googie….
(Truthfully though, if he’d had an ounce of strength, and wasn’t severely dehydrated he probably woulda pounded you into a pulp).
PS...Confidential to Marmie, remember when I used to call you hyperventilating and refusing to care for my sick vomiting children, threatening to run away from home and never return? Remember that you ordered me off the front porch and back into the house by saying,“you are gonna mess up those children?” ( I just wanted to let you know, at that point it was a done deal).