Monday, June 27, 2011

Sundays and sundaes...

Yesterday was about as perfect of a day as a perfect day can get.

Daddio and I conserved water by showering...oh, never mind, a couple of our offspring read this blog (and I don't want to give her an upset stomach...yuck)..

Then, when the weight of doing nothing all day long tuckered me out Daddio suggested that I take a snooze.

People shouldn't sleep in the middle of the day.

It's not right.

Alright y then, I crawled into the sack,  took off my ankle bracelet and my pants and let the sun dance on my cheeks.

And the wind rustle my eyelashes.

I ordered my body to sleep.

When it didn't want to listen, I ordered it to rest.

While I rested, I had thoughts of bickering with Marmie... (which I don't do).

And of adopting children with caramel colored skin ( I'm done with raising children, no matter what beautiful colors they may come in).

When Daddio plopped down on the bed and roused me from my rest I denied sleeping.

He pointed to the clock... I'd been resting for almost two hours.

And the pillow had a wet spot on it...

I felt pretty crappy from all that non napping.

And a bit groggy.

And I wanted to call Marmie and apologize.

We had McDonalds carryout for dinner as I was much too rested to cook.

Afterward Daddio suggested something purely magical...

"Do you want to get a Dairy Queen sundae and sit by the river?"

Me and Daddio AND a hot caramel sundae down by the that's a day dreamy kind of day.

shuuuushhhhhh... I still may be sleeping (that kind of crap doesn't happen to old married couples)

Or maybe it does.

Enjoy the dreamy moments of your life (and eat a caramel sundae down by the river too, k).


Thursday, June 23, 2011

(Almost) ready for take-off....

Today marks the last day of a very hectic work week...

So hectic in fact that I wrote something on my work calender (in code) that made me laugh every time I walked past (that is after I remembered what it was that the letters stood for).

CF, stood for cluster-flip (well, flip wasn't theeee exact word I was using, but I'm trying to class up this blog a bit by not cussing).

An example of a cluster-flip would be not making sure there was enough ice after your boss specifically asked you to make sure you stockpiled enough for all the events that were to take place at our agency over this past week.

(The only thing I stockpiled this week was a small mountain of fingernails in the pit of my aching stomach...)

I don't much like cluster-flips.

Yesterday was a bit of a cluster-flip at home too..

Bear blamed me for breaking his computer.

"WHAAAAT DID YOU DO!!!!????" he said in a nice calm voice when he called me at work.

"It was laying in a puddle of water" Bear cried (not literally) to Daddio on the phone when he called him after we suddenly got disconnected.

Such freakin bull-slap that kid spoke..... (all in an effort to garner sympathy from the man who thinks I spend entirely too much time playing around on the computer as it is... )

(That assumption sometimes really burns my chaps especially considering that Daddio likes to pluck his ge-tar nightly for as long as he sees fit.. he also likes to look at the insides of his eyelids for extended periods of time after work... or he spends a bit of his down time tooling about town on his bicycle, and I say nary a word in protest...)

so surely, I probably absentmindedly laid Bear's laptop in a puddle of liquid since I mostly just fool around on the computer when I'm home takin it easy..

But I didn't lay it in anything.

So speaking of cluster-flips and bull-slap it suddenly occurred to me that it's the 23rd of June...

And right before I was about to freak out (my favorite past time besides fiddling on the computer)..  my dear sweet departed grandpa popped into my head and clear as day I could hear him say...

"'s the twenty-turd a June... tr-ee mun-ts, only tr-ee munts (yes mun-ts) to go till Ju-bec (his nickname for Goog) gets hitched.

Which made me laugh out loud, much better than slappin my pants doncha think?

Enjoy this twenty-turd day a June.

It's a lovely mu-nt.


Saturday, June 18, 2011


Saturday Centus time, a themed writing meme. The challenge is to write 100 words to add to the prompt started by Jenny Matlock from off on my tangent.

The writing prompt is in (bold) itallics...

I run my fingers over his name and his status. 

Son, brother, father, and two dates. 

One birth, one death. 

Facts written within the stone .  

It doesn’t tell of his love of lemon things, his son, or me

 It doesn’t show his yellowish blond hair, his blue eyes, his wicked sense of humor. 

The stone seems to be the most touchable thing about him left, but wait, I can touch a raindrop, a sunset, a bird in flight. 

His soul continues all around me.  

Until that time we meet again.

Can’t wait.

Friday, June 17, 2011

A couple of huggable loveables.....

There is a rule in place at my workplace..."keep a u hands offa da kids".

Roughly ain't supposed to touch the children.

You ain't possed to slap a knot on der heads, you ain't possed to kick em in da ass, you keep your emotion to yourself.

Touching in the form of a hug is also prohibited frowned upon.


When I used to work at a school as a teacher's aide I was told the same thing.

I didn't listen then, and I don't listen now.

(of course I make sure to never leave a mark when I beat em with my wooden spoon)

Seriously...  I hug em all the time and I dare anyone to try and stop me.

They need it.

And some days I need it too.

Two of my favorite evvvv-er loveables left the program this past week.

Hot damn... I'm so happy for them, but geeeeeeze ohhhh pete I'm sure gonna miss having them to back me up.

It's not often that I want to adopt my loveables...but these two, these two I could have made into little Koby's without a second thought.

(They probably would have had a bit of trouble fitting next to Daddio on the lazyboy..but hey, we coulda made it work)

I liked most everything about these boys and often found myself wondering how in the hell they got into this program in the first place...

I knew how, cause I'd read their social/offense histories.... but sometimes that document only speaks of a moment (okay, maybe a couple of hours) of stupidity, impulsive idiocy or some other random act of ass-holiness.

That was the case with these two.

My heart tells me they are good eggs.

I don't like to cry in front of the loveables...

Tears (even from an old "mother like" figure) equal weakness.

Or at the very least a very uncomfortable squirmy moment (s)...

(I guess a lot would depend on if I were crying heaving sobs...?)


I got lots (and gave lots) of hugs this week...

Some of the bright spots of my day have gone on to brighten the days of others... (I have no doubt that they will do just that).

I hate goodbyes....

I really do.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Forward moving...

So now that I'm all done with Googie's shower life has made a return to normal. Yesterday was my first day back at work...

I hate the first day back to work after a vacation.

I get anxiety.

And secretly hope that everything went a little less smoothly during my absence...

is that an odd hope?

I hope not.

I'd don't think I'm alone in thinking like that.

We all want to be missed.

We all want to feel valuable and needed.

So everything went well while I was away...

Good (and dammit).

A coworker, who isn't in my department welcomed me back and told me that she overheard my loveables missing me.

Now that's more like it.. I couldn't help but think as she told me what she'd heard.

When the loveables came down for lunch and saw me in the small kitchen one of my favorites (ever) almost bowled me over with a hug...

He blushed and looked at all the other loveables looking at him.

Then he hugged me again.

It's good to be missed.


Monday, June 13, 2011

One step closer to "D" day....

It's official...Googie is getting married.

I know you already read that same exact line here at Not all who wander are lost...but this time it's for real....

Googie had a wedding shower on Saturday, in front of friends and family she "oohhhhed and ahhhhed over a butt load of lovely gifts... an apron with pearls, enough baking ware to open a small bakery. 

She got dishes and towels, candles and cash...oh la la, it was an affair to remember..

(Pssst.....I'm soooo freakin happy it's over)

I'd like to apologize to any and all of you who came here in the last week to see if anything was published in the form of a new blog post...

I hate when I stop by a blog I visit regularly and I all I see is the same ol junk I read last week (or even worse, the week before)...

I hate it.

I hate it so badly that when it happens to me a couple of times I want to dump the blogger.

They certainly must be lazy, or selfish..

You get all worked up for something and then, sigh.... disappointment.
The blogging blue balls is what you get... you get all excited for something new to read, you get all worked up typing in the address and you wait, you wait, you wait...(while the computer searches for the blog's address) almost, almost, almost.......  

oooohhhh, here it is, here it comes...








All worked up and all I get is an old post, the same old crap I already read last week.

I'm sorry I did that to you...

And if you'll forgive me and come back I'll do it up right next time.

A new blog post (and a picture or two) to tell you all  about that shower, Marmie's surprise visit..the whole shebang....


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Call home... call home....

Saturday, I had the occasion to be in the car with my sister Susan (you may know her as the one who doesn't read this blog)...

We have lots of history in cars.

Going to the beach with mom.

Going to the beach with dad.

Drive-in movies.

Double dating...well, not really, since Susan didn't have a date, she was just sent to spy on me and a very young Daddio.

Well into our 20's we even got into a bit*h slap fight once in the car.

Where we traveled across three lanes of heavy traffic and back all the while we slapped at each others slapping hands.

(To this day I still wonder what the drivers around us must have been thinking)

I'm not all that fond of riding in cars with my sister.

She is a downtown "Deeee-troit" driver all the way.. she tailgates, she flips the bird, she ziz-zags in and out of lanes.. she is disregardful of pedestrians and yield signs and traffic cops too. 

Crazy as frick.

I like to sit in the back seat.

Where I can duck, hide, and pray.

Pray we don't get our asses kicked or in an accident.

On Saturday as Susan played NASCAR (with Googie as her co-driver) I sat and quietly bit my cuticles, ate my cheeks and periodically shit my pants.

Every now and then I screamed offered helpful hints from the back seat... they were unappreciated and ignored.

Susan and Googie got into a conversation about a feature that many new phones/cars have...hands free dialing.

I had it for a bit with my new car a couple of years ago.... I would yell commands at the damn thing and it would always call the wrong person.

Susan told a funny story about her mother in law trying to get the car phone to call her home.

"Call home" Susan's MIL said over and over and over.

The phone made no move to call anyone.

Susan's MIL tried to change her voice, adding, subtracting inflection...

Time after time the phone refused to cooperate.

Which made Susan laugh.

From the back seat I added my two cents.

"My phone would be just as stupid" I said "after a short awhile of intense aggravation I would cuss and  yell "CALL FUC*IN HOME.."

and finally, finally that damn phone would make a move..

"dialing Frank" it would say.


Friday, June 3, 2011

I am a magpie..poo-poo-p-do

What exactly is a magpie?

"Given the opportunity the Magpie will always steal the shiny goodness."

This definition/explanation comes from the Urban Dictionary (don't bother taking a peek at the other definitions, numbers 6 and 7 will have you puking in your mouth...seriously).

(you looked it up didn't you...?)

(I'll wait while you rinse your mouth)

Googie and Trouble have begun furnishing their soon to be new home.

And ohhh my goodness, do they have awesome taste.

Everything I see, I want.

Ohhh the shiny, the brand spankin newness of it all.

Like a thief in the night I want to drop down their chimney and steal the picture off the wall from behind her bathroom door, it's a picture of a bird that calls to me.

I'm also jonesing for the lovely desk in her Africa room.

And her new couches, chairs, her tables (all of them)....

I WANT the blooming potted plant that rests contentedly on her kitchen window sill.. (I got one just like it and I deep sixed mine.. after I over/under watered it, under/over fed it and it failed to thrive)

I want to be Googie dammit...

or steal her blind.

My name is Beth and I am a magpie....

And also a mother..and man oh man, does my kid (and the kid she's marrying) have some kick ass good taste.... and I am proud as hell to say that I taught her everything she knows (okay, go rinse your mouth again).

Toodles for now... gotta fly run.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Want to fly....?

You need to give up the shit that weighs you down.

I haven't had a moment to call my own...and that's really okay (sorta :-/ )

Busier than a cat covering... well, I don't want to say shit twice in the same post.

I have to pretend to have a bit of class.

So the plans for Googie's wedding shower are in full swing and a henfest is taking place most every week now.

Her female relatives (present and future) gather together in rooms.

Putting thoughts into action.

Well, my thoughts usually take me to the action of emotional grazing...but that's a novella for another day.

Susan (you know, the one who doesn't read this blog)... was there there last night.

She started her usual shit crap stuff... talking ish (my grandmother's word for shi*) about our younger days.

Of course when she got to the good parts she started snorting and blubbering so bad it was hard to tell  what in the hell she was talking about...

Bent in half, shoulders heaving, nearing a tearful hysteria...Susan reminisced about our childhood.

She attempted to portray herself a victim rather than accomplice of my evil big sister antics...


( ish two times in one post...)

The debaucheries had to have a mastermind...

After all these years the truth can come out...I was simply the big thug following orders.

Want to fly..? Get rid of the shit that weighs you down.

Which can be accomplished by a good old fashioned knee-slappin cackle fest... or a discovery which brings about a sprinkle of unexpected joy..

Something silly and lighthearted, like a smile from your banana.