Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Emoting through art.....

Being a stay at home (mostly) mom as my babies were growing up has been a joy of my life. I can remember standing in the smoking lounge at school (wow...a public high school that not only allows its students to smoke on campus, but provides them with a lounge in which to do it. Those crazy 70's ;-) and talking about how I wanted to have two children, one of each, of course.

And  I wanted a career too.

I wanted it all.

Or so I thought. ( I really had no idea what "all " was exactly, but I envisioned myself in a red power suit, snakeskin briefcase, and a baby on my hip.)

Bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan.

Well that didn't work out so great...many were the times that I resented leaving my babies to go to work for even one hour.

I wanted to be home....I needed to be home....I had to go home (this was especially true the first day back to work after the birth of The Sweet Prince Buttercup. I suffered a great embarrassment, when I heard a stranger's baby wailing and my milk let down. With wet spots, the size of fifty cent pieces (and spreading by the nanosecond) on the front of my shirt, I ran to the receptionist's desk, leaned over for some privacy and before I could utter the words "I gotta go" one of the spots grew so heavy it started to leak and the leak had no place to fall but onto the back of her hand...."ewwwww" she said as she wiped her hand on her pants.."I'll cancel the rest of your clients.")

This was confirmation that I shouldn't be this far from my child.

I was out the door and home in minutes.

I've always been a homebody.

Ask my mother. I hated school and skipped every chance I got. Even in kindergarten. Even now, I can remember the feeling I had having to leave the security of my home and my mom.

School sucked.

They say what goes around comes around and so with the karma of the universe working against me it makes perfect sense that I would have a similar experience with my own children.

The Sweet Prince Buttercup hated school, but he really didn't hate school. He hated the academic part. And Goog didn't hate school at all, in fact, she loved school. Every part.

Well my "come around" came around and manifested itself in my baby #3.

If I thought I hated leaving my mother...I hadn't seen anything yet.

He would wail at night when I put him to bed..."I don't wanna go" and "Please let me stay home with you".

"Please mama, please mama, please mama, PLEEEEEEASE"

Daddio and I would tiptoe around in the morning hoping for a bit of calm before the daily storm.

"I hate school. I don't wanna go. I'm not gonna go. You can't make me. I won't go."

"I'll miss you too bad" he would cry and scream every single morning.

Each year when I bring out the Christmas decorations my heartstrings tug a bit when I pull out the first Christmas ornament Bear made in school.

Art imitating life.

What can I say? The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.

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