Monday, April 30, 2012

Sitting (not so) pretty...

To sit pretty means you're comfortable.

In what...?

your chair?

On your fat azz...?

I take it more to mean comfortable in your skin.

And these days (meaning today, right this very minute, and I'm hoping, that me, being my overly dramatic self, will have you understanding, duh, what the frick I, note to self, way, way, way, too many commas make for a very, very difficult and hard to understand, and potentially, grammatically incorrect text, yo) I am not too comfortable in my skin.

It's not my skin so much as it is my "skin"..understand?

So what has me down?

I am soooo glad you asked, nothing like a caring friend to see a person through a hard time.

When warranted, I like to dig deep down into my "issues" and try to figure out what the hell is up my ass.

Well, I can name about a dozen (or 12) things at least.

But none of them are anything other than wild hairs.

Wild hairs can create problems and wreck havoc for sure.

I once had one stuck in the middle of my areola.

Seriously... a wild hair.

I'd cut someone's hair and the sharp, newly cut hair made it's way down my top and plunged itself right into my boob.

Like a planted tulip arching toward the sun it stood straight up and out of my left breast's areola.

It was painful...

Shortly after my work day had started I noticed that every time I reached for something, or moved a certain way, I got a stabbing feeling in my chest.

(not my chest...really)

At that time, thankfully, I could still see up close.

So after a very personal examination of my breast in the bathroom stall at work I discovered a hair that didn't appear to have grown on my body.. however, IT was stuck in my body.

It creeped me out.

The only saving grace was that I knew for certain that the hair was clean.

It was a slight consolation.

And so I guess that that is the message I will take for myself today...

Okay, so you've got (someone else's) sharp, newly cut hair, stuck in the middle of your nipple...

but things could be worse...

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