I've been in love with Daddio since I was 11 years old.
I met him through a couple of boys from my school who were his neighbors.
Almost daily the boys visited.
They'd ride up on their cool bikes, banana seats and high rise handlebars, they'd pull in the driveway fast and then skid sideways to stop.
One day, they brought a young Daddio with them.
He was the cutest, shyest, bluest eyed boy I'd ever laid eyes on.
I've written before that it was pretty much luv at first site.
He looked at me and I looked at him and there was a con-nec-tion people..
Of course people aren't in real "relationships" at that age...but Daddio and I pretty much kept to ourselves on group dates..like trips to the movies and the skating rink.
Most of the time it felt like we were in our own little world.
A real couple.
We spent hours talking on the phone.
When I was about 13 Daddio and his family moved out of state.
At first he called almost every day.
A HUGE $200.00 phone bill (in the early 70's) put a stop to that.
They moved back to Michigan when I was 15 and he was 16.
Daddio and I met back up at a stop sign near my house.
I was on my new bike, stopped and waiting for the old blue Ford next to me to go when I happened to look over at the driver.
At the same moment the driver turned to look at me.
The hippy (hot hot hot) tanned driver had blond hair that touched his shoulders and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.
I did a double take and fell off my bike.
Right in front of him...
It was incredibly embarrassing.
Daddio and I caught up for a minute or two on the side of the road and he promised to come over later that day.
He did and we've been inseparable ever since.
I've always felt like I have an image to uphold where Daddio is concerned.
He's been with me through thick and thin.
By my side as I birthed his three children.
He's tended to me when I've been, as my dear step mom likes to say "on death's doorstep"...
He's seen and heard it all.
It's not a secret that Daddio looks up to me as a person whose body makes NO strange noises or smells.
No toots, no fluffs, no silent but deadlies.
No urping, no belching, no mouth farts.
I am a lady folks...thru and thru.
The kids can't believe that their dad has not ever experienced any of these seemingly normal things that people who live together for decades surely share.
They claim to have seen and heard it all first hand.
Of course they are totally nuts.
Like I said before, I am a lady.
So yesterday Daddio sat at the counter talking to me as I straightened up after we ate.
I gathered up his diet Pepsi, turned and chugged down the last inch or so that was left in the bottle.
I turned to say something to him and when I opened my mouth something gawd awful happened.
From the depths of my gut came the most horrific sound coupled with something stupid I was trying to say.
Daddio's eyes grew wide with surprise.
And his gaping mouth hung.
After he regained his composure (and the counter slapping and pointing stopped),
Daddio could tell I was totally mortified.
A 40 year record shattered in a split second.
Daddio did the best he could to remedy this horrible situation.
He gave my belch a perfect 10.