Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday January 21, 2011...

Dear Diary...

So many things to say...not much time to write.

The loveables have been all kinds of agitated the past couple of days...(full moon, remember I mentioned that it was coming).

One physically assaulted a staff member, another verbally assaulted a staff member, and finally one of the bold (dumb) smart ass's smoked in the small utility closet of the big kitchen...(you may remember when another of the (dumb) smart ass's smoked in the big walk in fridge, if not read about it here)..

When they do things like that I feel like...like...like...

have you ever seen one of those stress relieving little toys with the bulging eyes...you squeeze them real hard and their eyes bug way out...?

that's me...

only my eyes bug out even further,

threatening to fall out of the sockets.

So anyway, the little freaks left evidence in the small closet..(and really, that was a good thing..making the "crime" impossible to deny..it also helps my case when the kid's PO asks "do you think the stink was just lingering on his clothes...? Do you think that maybe he'd (they?) snuck outside and that he really DIDN'T smoke inside..?")

Ummm, that would be a provable "No".

The loveables are forced to produce either pee or spit for a drug screen. It is a court ordered requirement. Some test weekly, others randomly.

Most of them have done the forensic body fluid (slobber) test at least once...

While they denied any and all connection with the soggy cigarette butt...and I tried to hold my budging eyeballs in, an idea came to mind.

First I told them that I was going to sniff their fingers (allow me to clarify that..I'd be "looking" for odor of fresh cigarette smoking... ;-)

Then I thought, you have got to be out of your freakin mind..sniffing a teen boy's ANYTHING.

Suddenly, I had a plan "B".

I told them that the cigarette butt was going in for a full CSI worthy investigation.

We have loads of your DNA on hand...

Oh yeah, your slobber is gonna bring you down suckers....!!

Teeee-heeeee.

They looked a bit sick.

I hope they didn't figure out that I am totally full of shit...kinda hurts your cred.

I missed an opportunity to wish my sister-in-law a Happy Birthday on the 18th...we spoke on the phone so long the other day that I had a phone imprint on my face for two hours after we hung up...and I still forgot to mention it. Daddio remembered while we were eating dinner and we both talked about calling her..then we dropped the ball, or rather we dropped our heavy eyelids and hit the sack w/o making the call...so if you are reading this TeflonT...Happy Birthday, much love!!! xoxo

ps..sorry your brother and I are so lame.

One last thing...I have a dear friend who for my 16th birthday took me out to eat for every meal (on that special day). She took me shopping and let me pick out what ever I wanted. She made my day. This friend also left my brother's funeral, (right in the middle) to purchase a soft, warm, very expensive blanket so that my mother could wrap her son warmly before he was buried.

She refused to take a penny in repayment.

Everybody (and I mean EVERYBODY) needs a friend like her.

I want to wish that friend a wonderful Happy fun filled everything you could ever dream about Birthday.

ps...thanks too for the many times you picked me up by the elbows and helped me run after we'd egged a house and my hysterics rendered me giddy stupid and incapable of using my own two legs as a get-away..

Thank you for that having my back kinda stuff...

xoxo

2 comments:

  1. Hi Kelly. love to you too!!..thanks for stopping by and for the comment.

    ReplyDelete

Some bloggers write "gimme me some love".... as far as I'm concerned, I'd love some love, but I'd even take some hate, some expressions of your disgust, your outrage, mild irritation, sheer joy...whatever, I can take it, honestly I can. Just please (please) leave a comment or two and let me know what you think. Merci.