Into each life...

a little rain must fall.

I hate that statement.

I really do.

I can't help but feel smothered by my own fears and realizations that some day it could (and will) be me...

or mine.

And baby...waiting for and anticipating that downpour is a stress-er, that's for sure.

Tic, tic, tic....when will the shoe drop...? When will the luck run out..?

So I do this kind of thing... " Please God, oh please God, oooooh please God don't let it be me, or Daddio or one of the kids or one of my parents, my siblings, someone I love...you get it.

Please Lord, protect mine.

But isn't that all our prayer...?

Every last one of us says..."please not mine".

I wonder how HE picks...who?

Who will be the one to get sick?

Lose someone in an accident?

Does HE even choose...?

Or do we ourselves write our own destiny....?

By driving drunk, by not eating properly, by somehow picking up a shitty set of genes...?

Does HE give us choices and let us suffer consequences for them...?

You choose, at 15, to get in the car with a drunk friend...or not.

If not, you live to make another choice.

So really, you may have 10 days and ways in which you could choose to call it a day, and meet your Maker..?

This of course would be HIS plan...he gives you 5 or 10 or 17 chances to chart your own course.

And since HE knows ALL and knows what/where/when your choice will be, he sits back and watches.

Now I don't have any idea if this theory of mine could stand up in a court of law with a true Theologian or even in an in depth discussion with a bona fide bible thumper..

and I don't much care.

It's just something that I think about from time to time.

So if you chose to do all kinds of rotten things and ended up with cancer or a bolt of lightening that struck right through your evil, shriveled heart...well then, I guess some could say "he got what he deserved"..?

That seems to be a proper punishment for, say, a murderer...and similar such no good for nothing human beings.

But what about a kid that gets sick...?

And this is my point...it sucks thinking "there but for the Grace of God go I"..

And that it probably is really nothing more than a crap shoot...?

It really sucks.

I appreciate you listening.