Hating to be labeled procrastinator I've decided to get a head start on my winter blues.
Careening toward what I'm sure to be a long dark winter has me feeling mighty blah.
And since I have an intense desire (and horribly irritating habit) of dissecting every good, bad, indifferent feeling I have into "what the holy hell does it all mean?" I'm driving myself mad.
Control what you can...hmmm, that would be, not much.
Yesterday I needed to get to church.
In a perfect world I'd make it every week. I'd sing at the top of my lungs and know every word to every song by heart.
I'd exit the church doors with a cloak of faith draped around my (skeptical, stooped) shoulders.
A force field of Godly goodness to protect me from the cold, cold cruel world.
Instead, in my imperfect world I tend to get irritated the second I walk in the door and am forced to shake hands with a greeter who should be passing out hand sanitizer and tranquilizers.
Tranquilizers that could possibly help when in my imperfect world I am irritated in church by crying children and their waxy eared parents...
"Buy some freakin Q-tips.
And a muzzle (or two)....."
I want to shout from my seat in the back.
In a perfect world I'd take every word of Pastor's sermon and make it fit my life.
Instead of daydreaming statistics about male pattern baldness.
And messy uncombed bed heads.
I'd not pick lint, nor stray hairs using only my eyes.
I'd avoid getting sidetracked by a nice knee lenght coat, a pretty dress or a sparkly bangle bracelet.
I'd stay focused on the sun beaming through the beautiful stained glass windows.
And the strong voices reciting the Lord's Prayer.
Yesterday at church God knew what I needed (and when doesn't He, really?)
I didn't notice any pint sized expressions of dire unhappiness (woo-hoo)
I kept my mind focused.
AND... I sang for all I was worth (but not out loud ;-)
I walked out the doors feeling refreshed and content.
Some days I have TOTAL faith I'll make it through the dark cold winters of my life.
A couple of my favorite quotes....
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. ~Maori Proverb
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. ~Chinese Proverb
It's "Moan"day...enjoy the sunshine (in whatever form it may appear).