An unintentional brain probe...

The life of a hypochondriac is anything but easy.

Time is wasted worrying about things.

Imagining things.

Making things up.

In the middle of the night I feel bugs crawling in my ears.

Or maybe it's some kind Cerebrospinal fluid that could be leaking from a tiny hole that may be present.

When I wake up and feel this sensation I have no choice but to stagger to the bathroom and grab a toothpick..ummm, I mean, Q-tip.

The Q-tip will either stop the bug that bugs me or it will gather evidence of a Cerebrospinal fluid leak that will once and for all prove to Daddio that I'm not full of shit.

The other night I felt bugs...(or brain juice leaking)

In the dark, I opened the drawer holding the toothpicks, I mean Q-tips, and grabbed a palm full.

Not trying to brag or anything but my multitasker mentality had me peeing and poking at the same time.

In went the cotton plunger, twist, relief.

Flip.

Repeat.

In goes the cotton plunger.............................

OMG........

I screamed in the dark when the Q-tip... I mean toothpick went waaaaaaaaaaaaay tooooooooooo far into my ear canal.

Seriously....I POKED a HOLE in my BRAIN...

I POKED A BIG HOLE IN MY BRIAN WITH A CHEAP ASS KNOCK OFF BRAND COTTON SWAB THAT WAS MISSING THE COTTON TIP..............

How in the hell does Kroger sell cotton swabs minus the cotton...?

Probably with this little diddy...with Quality Paper Sticks...

I got poked in the brain by a Quality paper stick... as opposed to what?

A cheap ass paper stick...?

Maybe a cheap paper stick would have collapsed under the pressure and not poked me so hard?

I had planned on writing Kroger a love note complaining about the dangerous toothpicks that they masquerade as Q-tips sitting innocently on their store shelves.

I hoped for some kind of compensation.

And an offer to pay for any medical expenses incurred in patching the hole in my brain.

While examining the package for contact info I came across this message...

Those crafty bastards.

A common sense warning I failed to heed.

If you're not supposed to enter the canal with them why are they 3 inches long...?