It's 9:30 in the evening and I'm sitting in my computer chair typing this post because there is no way I can do anything else.
On pins and needles.
I have a pit the size of a basketball resting heavily on my diaphragm making it hard to breathe.
It all started with a phone call to our landline a bit ago. I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the number.
A couple of minutes later Daddio walked upstairs with my cell phone. Bear had just called.
He was calling to tell us that he was on the way to the hospital, his best friend since the first grade had been injured in a car accident.
With hands shaking so badly it was hard to hold the phone, I called Bear back.
"How bad?" I asked.
"His parents didn't know how bad mom" he answered. "They called me and weren't to the hospital yet."
Then he just about broke my heart when he asked "If he was dead mom would the hospital keep that from his parents so they could make it to the hospital?
I don't know. Do they do that? I didn't think they did that? Please tell me they don't do that.
"No, honey he's going to be fine" I said.
Suddenly I was scared for my own child.
Scared because he's driving and upset.
Scared about what he may find when he gets to the hospital.
Scared to think about how his life could change because his best friend got into a car accident.
Then I thought about his friend's mother.
And I thought about my own mother who lost her son to an accident one seemingly ordinary mid October evening.
And I thought about Bear and his friend's graduation ceremony tomorrow night.
These two boys who became fast best friends when they met in the school supply aisle at K-Mart the first day of first grade.
Bear and Metzie were in the same class and became a perfectly matched inseparable pair.
They would be best friends all their growing up years.
They planned to walk together to get their diplomas.
And now Bear was on his way to the hospital where Metzie was taken after the accident.
A couple of hours and lots of text messages later Bear called one last time to say he was on his way home.
"Anybody want any MickyD's?" he asked when he called.
"Bring your dad a big mac" I said.
"Nothin for you ma?" He asked.
"Yeah" I wanted to add.....go to the store Bear and get some party hats and some balloons. Stop by the church and kneel and say a prayer of thanks. Lets make a cake. And throw confetti. And blow kazoos. And bubbles. Lets dance a jig and sing some songs.
"No kid, just hurry home" I said "and be careful".
Bear's best friend is going to be fine.
Life goes on as planned.