Monday, June 21, 2010

Sticks and stones instead????

"Is there anyone in the house besides us?" Daddio said, peeking over his shoulder and looking around the corner.

"Nope" I answered "just us".

"Come here, I want you to hear something" He said guiding me toward the antique chest that sits next to our fridge.

"Wait till you hear this....somebody needs some soap in their mouth" he said.

He walked toward the answering machine and began to push buttons.

"Hang on" he said "it's right here".

Daddio scrolled through the old messages, clicking "skip", until he got to number 10.

Then he upped the volume as high as it would go.

A female voice filled the mostly empty kitchen. Her words could have curled wallpaper or scoured a sink....cuss words abrasive and shocking.

I cringed and winched as the string carried on and on.

WOW..this freak is pissed, I thought.

And possibly insane.

A rambling rant of magnificent proportions.

Words that colored and hung in the air like a heavy mushroom cloud.

"JUST WHO IN THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING TO?" Daddio demanded to know.

Choosing my words carefully I answered his question.

Some dumb sonofabitch guy in a big red truck who was all up my ass tailgating.

My chastisement wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been...Daddio missed the sign language.

Note to self...make sure you hit that damn end call button TWO times.


  1. That's hilarious! I had a friend of mine told me I accidentally called her and she could hear me talking to my boys. "Really, What was I saying?" "Oh nothing, just talking"


  2. Sometimes I press the end button so hard on my phone that I turn the dern thing off. Smooches.


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