Sunday, March 7, 2010

Pining for Kanas....

Daddio and I were invited to a friend’s 40th birthday party, which took place last night. He had a gig and wasn’t able to make it (not that he'd have gone if he had absolutely nothing else in this world to do but trim his toenails, but this way he did have a credible out).

Mere seconds into my arrival to the party site I had a strong yearning to pull out a pen and a notebook, Harriet the Spy style.

Everywhere I looked, notebook worthy characters held up walls and leaned against bar stools holding pool cues or half empty beer bottles.

Too many notes and not enough napkins. So I took off my Harriet cap and slipped into David Letterman mode.

My Top Ten ...Reasons Why  You/Your Look Inspires spontaneous hysterical snickering List didn’t get off the ground (I was scared my pointing and laughing was gonna earn me an ass kickin)

 So I moved on...

To a Glamour’s Don’t and Don‘t Ever list.

1. Waist length silver hair. (This Don’t counts as two if you’re a man)

2. Basketball shorts and dress shirts. (buddy, where is your tie? Duh)

3. Sunglasses after dark. (Hard to read your poker hand in a dark bar)

4. In your face cleavage. (Holy crap... is that cleavage or is she nursing bald twins?)

5. Age spotted, wrinkled décolletés decorated with ornate rhinestone crosses. (Just plain ewwww)

6. Harold hitting on Maude. ( “huh?” click here)

And a Do……

1. It is perfectly acceptable to pretend you’re a lesbian in order to avoid  and ward off “The Pickup Artist”.

The whole evening was like an episode of The Twilight Zone.

Strange and a bit scary.

When my overactive imagination took me to a place where I felt like a working extra on That 70’s Show or Pulp Fiction….I made like Dorothy Gale and clicked my ruby red heels three times…

“There’s no place like home” I later told Daddio.


  1. I can honestly say that I am happy to be married and not a member of a community revolving around the half empty beer bottles, sunglasses, and drunk pick up lines aimed at whoever makes eye contact first. It was much like the "Twilight Zone" and I am glad to say that I think that I do not have lung cancer after all.....all that smoke made me think differently, although I must say that it was a good thing to celebrate our friend getting to 40 relatively unscathed. :0)

  2. Yeah, I do adore that newly 40 year old friend. ;-)


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