Eat more hot dogs....

A couple of weeks ago I began to notice that each morning when I tried to sneak out of bed w/o waking the sleeping bear (darling dear Daddio) my body would reach a certain point on the bed and my leg would cry out in a crack that would wake the dead... or a hibernating bear...

As I tip-toed downstairs toward the kitchen and my filling coffee pot my leg would continue talking announcing my presence to my slumbering watch dog, Jersey Girl.

Who'd then wake up and have all kinds of expectations starting with me rubbing her hairless pink belly and me taking her outside so that she could get an early start to her morning routine of barking at the dark.

That leg of mine was wrecking havoc with my morning routine and I wasn't liking it much.

A few days ago I ran to Kohls to exchange a nightgown Goog and Trouble bought me for Christmas...

Like usual, the racks of clearance merchandise grabbed me as I walked by and twisted my arm and made me browse them for deals.

I was next to a woman who was taking her browsing pretty seriously, she scooted right up next to me (oblivious to my personal space issue) and tried to hurry me with her hanger sliding....

zzzz-ip, zzzzz-ip, zzzzzz-ip...she slid the hangers of her rejects, one by one, getting closer and closer to me and forcing me to be continually placing my own required three feet of space between myself and all people I don't know.

I would give her the evil eye and try and stand my ground, but she was a woman on a mission and no slowpoke browser was going to get in her way.

I wanted to say something, but I didn't.

However, my leg took over and got into the act.

Each time I moved, it popped.

The same exact pop each time.

"zzzzzz-ip.....zzzzzzz-ip......zzzzzz-ip"  Ms MasterBrowser's hangers said.

"SNAP" my leg answered as I took a sidestep.

"SNAP"

"SNAP"

"SNAP"

Eventually, I gave up and hobbled away with my snapping leg, which continued to snap with each step I took.

I tried to give my body a slightly different angle so that the popping would stop, nothing I did seemed to work.

Ever since then I've been fighting the urge to hit up Dr Google for advice or a diagnosis.

Even though I should know better, as I've been known to catch diseases and conditions that way.

This morning I caved and started the search for what is wrong with me.

I Googled "why do my bones keep cracking when I walk"...

And Dr Google said (and I kid you not)...

Q: why do my bones crack a lot?

A: go toe docter NOW! because you have Osteobonecrackingosis.

It has been scientifically proven that if you don''t eat a lot of pizza puffs and hotdogs you are more susceptible to this terrible disease that tends to only infect idiots.

So my question to you is, are you an idiot?

Start eating pizza puffs and hotdogs IMMEDIATELY and your bones will start feeling better. that happens before you die.

lol JK thats normal, my doctor told me i guess that''s normal but go ask a doctor that happens to me to...

i think its normal

webmd.com your bones cant... 

 

cant....cant...cant.....???

cant........????????????????????

 

MY BONES CAN'T WHAT....????

Osteobonecrackingosis..... I just knew it was something bad.