Thursday, January 26, 2012

The future of Alice...

I've been dying to tell you all about my latest Life Skills class.

How the boys (?), the one's large as California Coastal Redwoods, almost made me lose my mind.

How they pushed every button and tweaked every raw nerve I had to offer.

Then dug deeper to find even more.

I wanted to tell you how they came in reeking of marijuana and then blamed it on one's dad (he be burnin a blunt in da car, yo).

And while I would be on the subject of these smelly Redwood trees I would tell you how they intimidated all the other youth,

and the co-facilitator of this class.

I'd be withholding information if I also didn't mention that they intimidated me too.

And that, in and of itself, really, totally, and sin-cere-ly pissed me the eff off.

(I have underwear older than these punks)

(the small pretty ones, the ones that aren't classified "granny panties" the ones I keep hoping to fit back into someway, somehow, someday)

(Horders uuuuu-nite, just sayin)

If I were telling you all about my latest Life Skills class I would tell you how when we walked down the hallway the big boys got into the old man janitor's face,

and I would tell you that I ran up front and got into the Redwood's face...

I would say that except there was no chair (on which I could stand) in the I was really pretty much yelling into his bellybutton..

which, much like the cavernous abyss that is his head, didn't appear to have ears.

Ohh, well.

So if I were to go on and on about the cluster doink that was our latest Life Skills class I would rat out on the boys for stealing ice cream from the fridge.

Another program's ice cream.

We frown on behavior like that.

Yep, while I was out of the room, and my co-worker was fooling around with the other thugs these cloud scrapers were scavenging through drawers in search of spoons to put in a previously unopened (HUGE) carton of ice cream ( I probably, in order to really bring home the point, would reiterate that it was someone else's ice cream).

IOW (inotherwords) it be someone else's shit..keep your mo fo hands off..

If I were telling that story I would certainly end it with the information that an email was sent from me to my superiors (at 10pm) indicating that these children would not be allowed to continue (something about over my dead body) in my Life Skills classes.

I would also recall using the term "feral animals..."

(ohh yes I did)

I would hope my little tale would end with a pop, a bang, a climax if you wish...

but like many a good story, it would have a bittersweet ending.

While turning the ice cream container around (for picture evidence, yo) it was discovered (teeeeeeee-heeeeeee) that while the ice cream belonged to another program it apparently had been left in this community fridge for quite some time...

like for nearly a year.

Close to a year ago the printing on the side of the container cried in warning "EXPIRES 3/01/11".

Some Hershey (SQUIRTS) with your ice cream boys, Y-oooooo.

This girl does dream.

The title of this post, The future of Alice... did it have you scratching yer noggin?

(Random Post Idea Generator... I was looking for an amazing thing to write about since I didn't want to write about my latest Life Skills class)

I wish you smiles aplenty today...


  1. BAHAHAHA nothing says "YUM" like expired ice cream. LOVE it!! :)

  2. Sometimes justice is served up in the court room. Sometimes it's in a bowl with sprinkles! Love it!!

  3. Hahaha is right.

    Update: Two of da three got da boot.

    Orlandel... I soooo love unique (and fitting) punishments.

    Thanks to you both for the comments.


  4. That Karma lady can be a real bitch...they got theirs, in the end ;)
    Sorry you had to put up with all of that :( but yeah I am laughing at the fact that they all ate expired ice cream and some got the boot from the class.


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