Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Atop a fence post.... pt deux

If you happen to happen upon this blog (this one here, the one you are reading right here, right now, yeah, this one, it you happen to happen upon this blog you may need to read this post right here to understand what I'm talking about in this post...you dig?)

The whole fundraiser deal was a lot like pregnancy and giving birth.... at first we suffered through the "It won't be so hard" and "I'm so excited, this is going to be great" to "what in the hell have we done to ourselves?"....

The what in the hell have we done to ourselves was the stage that lasted the longest, was the most painful...and also the most profitable.

During the transitional phase (the hard labor) of the process I found myself leaning on Marmie for lots of tips and pointers.

"Don't be afraid to be specific in your requests" she guided "ask for what you need."

"Don't just say "can you donate", say "I'm looking for 16 bundles of pipe cleaners, can you help me out?"

I took her advice to heart and grew me some big ballzs and decided nothing ventured, nothing gained..

"I've got 25 bucks and I need 20# of ground round" I told the owner of my favorite meat market "is there something you can do?"

I tried not to dance and hoot and holler when she took a huge hunk of beef from the showcase and took it in the back...

Marmie was right.... "ask, and you shall receive"

I was high as a kite, riding on asking and receiving, when I went to Kroger (you may recall them as the grocery store that does not donate to "regular people" or "people who just walk in off the street asking for stuff") to follow up on my written (and supposedly faxed) donation request...

I'd been following up for days (and really counting on a donation) and was getting nowhere and so on the day of the fundraiser when it was a mere few hours from starting I found myself face to face with the manager of my local Kroger...

The Brownstown Michigan Kroger Head Store Manager Cindy was as pleasant as a bleeding hemorrhoid.

As kind and understanding as an ingrown hair.

As giving as an abscessed tooth.

Seriously she was all that and more.

"We don't just give to every person who walks in off the street asking" she hissed "there are people who walk in here everyday wanting stuff"....

(Ohhhh the nerve of those rotten needy bastards...)

"We don't give to "regular people" she condescendingly added.

"You have to be representing lots of people in order to get a donation here"....

She continued her verbal and emotional assault on me until my eyes welled with tears and when she snapped (for the fifth time) "WHO IS "THEY"????? " when I referenced the people I'd previously talked to at her service desk, who when I originally asked for help THE ONES THAT handed me a Donation Request Form and then gave me directions as to how to fill it in and what it needed to have attached and where it needed to be submitted...and all that jazz... THEY, THEM,THOSE people... that right. there. (evil Miss)...them there is who THEY is/are...(dumb ass)

(don't get it?... I feel ya, that exchange above is exactly how my mind was processing what I was hearing)

When her pleasantries were all done she walked away in a huff and left me embarrassed and humiliated and wanting to crawl back into the hole (the hole she just knew) that I'd crawled out of (and yes, I do know that I just said the same thing three damn times, but that is how bad I felt and this is, after all, my blog and I can say stupid stuff like that to describe how I was feeling after being incredibly humiliated and embarrassed by Cindy the Manager of the Brownstown MI Kroger store for having the nerve to walk in off the street and ask her to donate, in her grocery store's name, to a personal fundraiser for a (one, single, solitary, all alone) person (one tiny very sweet person) who is fighting the fight of her life against a dreadful disease...)

(After dealing with the likes of me and brushing me off with a limp hand pump...I'm sure she went to wash me (the delusional beggar) off her hands...(yuck)

A cashier standing next to the register near where I was talking with charming Cindy heard the whole exchange.

Her eyes were filled with sympathy and she came over and apologized for her store's policy...(there was no apologizing for her baboon boss' boorish behavior)

She then took a small change purse out of her uniform pocket, took something out and pressed that something into my hand...

It was a twenty dollar bill...

"I hope this helps" she said.

"I usually don't have any big money in my purse, but...today I do, and I feel like God told me to give it to you, God bless you and your cause" she said patting my hand.

A bloody blooming red rose in the middle of December January.

"When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the raindrops tumble all around, Heaven opens a magic lane."

And just like t.h.a.t (cue the {s-nnnn-ap} my (Generous and Kind) Lord picked me up, dusted me off and sent me on my way.

Thank you kind cashier. 


PS... know the movie Ghost? The part when the bad guys die and they evaporate into a black vapor?... I've thought of that scene and Cindy a lot since my fateful encounter with her.

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