I simply can't wrap my mind around the fact that I won't be tripping over him anymore.
Or feeding him or mothering him on a daily basis.
This past week I cried every single day....
And felt a fear like I've never felt before.... ( I totally realize that I need to get a grip and put this into perspective, my kid is just going off to college...seriously, he's not marrying Lindsay Lohan and moving to Sri Lanka)
Daddio, Googie, Trouble and I helped Bear pack up his childhood and together we moved him to the
"Think of it as a vacation" I say to myself in an attempt to trick my simple mind into accepting his leaving.
Bear and I, his bed frame, and his acoustic guitar rode west in his small truck (oh yes he is taking his wheels to college, I'm quite confident he won't be driving around campus drunk and trying to pick up chicks... I hid his keys in the bottom of the cleaning bucket just as a bit of added insurance;-), the ride gave me a chance to reiterate every single thing I ever tried to teach him (that poor kid tee-hee)
Since he's been gone we've talked on the phone a couple of times.... he sent me a picture of the first dinner he ever prepared in his own apartment... it looked damn good, and I was proud.
"Thanks ma" he said after I gave him instructions on how to make diced fried potatoes "consider this call the first of many as I learn to cook".
This has been rough..
Sending your child out into the big bad world is one of the hardest things a mother can do... but no one ever said that the proverbial end to all the years of hard work and devotion and dedication was going to be easy... or that freely giving/encouraging wings was going to do anything other than grayer our hair and make our hearts ache (a really really really big wrenching gaping wounded hole kind of ache)....
However, a failure to launch situation where the kid stays with us forever certainly isn't one we'd want...right?
Not a question I care to answer right this minute.
I'm missing my baby too much.
Before I let you go... one last thing,
Bear left me something on my pillow....
Do please visit (or re-visit) this post to understand.
As always, thanks for listening.