THAT, it's over.
My mothering of teen children (grown in my womb) will come to an end toooo-night.
At 3:33 am my baby, the Koby family caboose.... will turn the big 2-0
These days I can hardly look at that boy and not tear up.
I'm counting the days until he leaves for college... trying to hold them back.
I'm pulling so hard that my arms hurt, but not as much as my heart.
This is the way it's supposed to be, right?
You pray hard and love harder and work like a dog for years and years and years...
Years that go by in minutes, or so it seems.
2 becomes 10 becomes 20... just... like... that..... they go on and grow up and move out and get their own lives.
In what feels like an instant your days of mothering young children is o-v-e-r.
I'm already tired of the mothering of grown-up rules I shouldn't break.
The boundaries I shouldn't cross.
Keeping my nose in my own business sucks way worse than I ever thought it would.
Next Wednesday Bear (my former baby) and I are going together to see his Kalamazoo apartment...
The motherless place where he plans to hang his hat for the next year or forever.
Who will care for him when he gets sick?
Cut his hair?
Make him cupcakes?
Frick this shit...
I feel a tantrum on its way.
Maybe I'll sit on the sidewalk outside that damn apartment and make him drag me inside...
I don't want (you) to go (there) Bear and dammit you can't make me (like the fact that you're going away).
I don't care if the neighbors (or your new roommates) are watching.
Remember I said this day would come?
The day we would switch places.
All kidding aside... I will miss this very very very special teenage boy.
This quote from the movie Annie about sums this whole sit-chi-ation up...
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
xoxoxo, thank you for listening.
And because he promised to read this blog tonight when he gets home, a message for my baby boy...
Happy Birthday darling Bear, I'll meet you in your dreams @ 3:33 tonight.