Showing posts with label Susan tried to beat me up in the car once. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Susan tried to beat me up in the car once. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Elizabeth RN... (stands for Rotten Nurse)
TGIF... it's been a really really really really really loooooooooooong week.
Bear is going to survive, a really bad case of mono has been diagnosed, is being treated and is currently under good control..
whew that was a close one.
He tells no lie(s) when he says he has the immune system of a sickly two year old... and the healing properties of a 1,000 year old man.
My dad is still hanging out horizontally on the fifth floor of a local hospital... Susan (my sister, you may know her as the one who reads every other written word, in every medium, including the dosing instructions of baby Tylenol while having no small children, yes, she reads everything...ev-ery-thing except this blog)... where was I..?
Oh yeah Susan (you may know her as ....please see above) worked on a project at the very hospital that my dad is currently being killed at.... the project was done with a consulting firm the purpose of said project was to see where this hospital failed (the way in which it is horrifically run, that's where..yo) and where it could improve (stop killing so many with your poor, inept care..duh)
Susan says the hospital received high "marks" in the surgical arena however they received really low marks in aftercare...
no shit... seriously?
There is a particularly snooty nurse whose hair I would love to pull. She is condescending and rude. Not to mention mean, uncaring and a witch with a "B"....
The crack up is that this month she is the featured "EMPLOYEE of DA MUNT"... so her (fake) smiling mug is plastered on an 8x10 situated on the information board as you round the corner to my dad's room.
Ohhhh how I want(ed) to rip down that picture.
I even fantasized about putting the large photo in the toilet and pooping on it...( not a command pooper so that was out)
I didn't tell Susan (my sister...) about my plan because she likes to pretend to be the mature one...she'd rather write a complaint letter than take an un-flushed dump on a glossy 8x10.
Yesterday as we walked toward our dad's room she asked an odd question..."you don't have a Sharpie, do you...?" she said nodding toward the ugly picture of the ugly nurse.
What the hell...she was going to do a little ink "photo-shoping" on that bimbo's mug shot....
Good lawd, there is hope for that girl after all...
(I didn't have a Sharpie and thank goodness I didn't...neither one of us noticed the huge (really large) round "see everything up and down the hallway" mirror ball thingy hanging on the ceiling...it would have been hugely embarrassing having a security escort out of the hospital with a destruction of property charge looming)....
TTYL....
xoxo
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Call home... call home...call home....
Saturday, I had the occasion to be in the car with my sister Susan (you may know her as the one who doesn't read this blog)...
We have lots of history in cars.
Going to the beach with mom.
Going to the beach with dad.
Going to the beach with dad.
Drive-in movies.
Double dating...well, not really, since Susan didn't have a date, she was just sent to spy on me and a very young Daddio.
Well into our 20's we even got into a bit*h slap fight once in the car.
Where we traveled across three lanes of heavy traffic and back all the while we slapped at each others slapping hands.
(To this day I still wonder what the drivers around us must have been thinking)
(To this day I still wonder what the drivers around us must have been thinking)
I'm not all that fond of riding in cars with my sister.
She is a downtown "Deeee-troit" driver all the way.. she tailgates, she flips the bird, she ziz-zags in and out of lanes.. she is disregardful of pedestrians and yield signs and traffic cops too.
Crazy as frick.
I like to sit in the back seat.
Where I can duck, hide, and pray.
Pray we don't get our asses kicked or in an accident.
On Saturday as Susan played NASCAR (with Googie as her co-driver) I sat and quietly bit my cuticles, ate my cheeks and periodically shit my pants.
Every now and then I screamed offered helpful hints from the back seat... they were unappreciated and ignored.
Susan and Googie got into a conversation about a feature that many new phones/cars have...hands free dialing.
I had it for a bit with my new car a couple of years ago.... I would yell commands at the damn thing and it would always call the wrong person.
Susan told a funny story about her mother in law trying to get the car phone to call her home.
"Call home" Susan's MIL said over and over and over.
Susan and Googie got into a conversation about a feature that many new phones/cars have...hands free dialing.
I had it for a bit with my new car a couple of years ago.... I would yell commands at the damn thing and it would always call the wrong person.
Susan told a funny story about her mother in law trying to get the car phone to call her home.
"Call home" Susan's MIL said over and over and over.
The phone made no move to call anyone.
Susan's MIL tried to change her voice, adding, subtracting inflection...
Time after time the phone refused to cooperate.
Which made Susan laugh.
From the back seat I added my two cents.
"My phone would be just as stupid" I said "after a short awhile of intense aggravation I would cuss and yell "CALL FUC*IN HOME.."
and finally, finally that damn phone would make a move..
"dialing Frank" it would say.
xoxo
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