Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Waving my flag....

We don't often look at ourselves and think "what a nut job".

Even when we are.

The other day I asked my kids to answer a survey question (don't ask) asking me what made my "freak flag" fly.

What are you freaky/obsessive about?


Loaded question.

Bear couldn't think of anything.

He did say that I was annoying, but that was all he could think of.

His sister had a list.

"Well, you are all wacky about puke." Googie offered.

"And you like perfume waaaaaaaaaaay too much"

"You have too much perfume mom, really you do"

"And you're all weird about smells."

"Oh and that phone thing."

"Yeah, you do have an issue with phone calls mom."

Hey Goog, thanks.

You are such a big help to your momma.

The Freak Flag Flier.

A couple of days ago I called my ex sister.

Often, her ringing phone goes unanswered.

I guess it may be hard to hear three different handsets ringing at the same time, but hey, whatever.

Lots of times when I call the answering machine picks up and when I start to leave a message a real live human being will answer.

Screening calls huh?

If I were the paranoid sort I might even think they were screening their calls.

So I called that no good fer nuttin lazy ass   darling sister of mine a day or two ago and left a message asking her to call me back.

The witch ignored the call.

She didn't get the message.

So I called again yesterday.

Listen you puke, call me back.

What the frick?

This is totally the last and final straw, I won't call you again...EVER!!!

Yesterday, I dialed her number and left a message.

Yeah, so yesterday I decided to give her another call.

I called her again, yesterday.

Yesterday when she didn't return my calls call I decided to leave a message.

Okay, you obviously don't want to talk to me since you never answer when I call, you never return my calls, no one gives you my messages and they never get into any trouble for that unmannerly behavior.

I'm going to stop writing about this now.

I'm feeling myself beginning to tense up.

Googie was right...I do have phone issues.


PS...Susan, if you are reading me.

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