It's been a rough week being Bear's mom.
My darling baby boy has been promoted to manager of his department.
It's huge people...huge.
He's the boss...wow
He's also so full of himself that the buttons on his (dress) shirt are ready to pop...
"Yep, no more cleaning toilets for me" he boasts.
"No more scoopin poop for this guy"
His kill-joy mother (that would be me) responds..
"What the hell happens when your one, single, solitary employee calls off sick...?"
"You'll be pushing up those sleeves and goin back to humble beginnings..."
"Maybe you'd better invest in some dark brown dress shirts...."
(oh man, I do so entertain myself sometimes)
This is his first week as the BOSS and his first customer has threatened to take him to court.
And to make matters worse... his first lunch as a big ol Bossman wasn't up to snuff either.
The morning of his first day as the man in charge started out perfectly, Bear showered, I iron his clothes, rubbed his stressed out shoulders, ran up and down the stairs to gather his dress pants, made sure I coached him on how to properly answer the phone, spray starched and pressed an impressive seam in his stone colored Dockers, reminded him that outstanding customer service always involves a brown nose and some big (kissy) lips... (pucker up baby, u gonna be kissin some rear...)...
As this preparation was going on I was also busily doing my other (1950's homemaker wifely) duties.. getting Daddio "ready" for work.
As I lovingly prepared a lunch for the Lord and Master of our castle, his little chip off the ol block said (AND I QUOTE) "You don't need to make me a sandwich Ma, I can do it myself"
(well I know you can honey, but what is a helicopter mamma to do when her baby starts acting like a grown up and begins to take care of himself..?)
I already had the bread sitting on the counter, being the nice guy that I am I put it into a baggie to keep it fresh, and I hollered that very important titbit to Bear.
Later as he told the story about his first customer and her threat to sue him he thanked me for the delicious sandwich.
"Ohhh and MA, I really want to thank you for the bread, it was great. I was so hungry at lunch and those two plain slices of bread really hit the spot".
"Oh sheeeeee's sent me with that same exact sandwich" Daddio (the Peanut Gallery ring leader) piped up and shared.
"No, your sandwich wasn't plain bread, you had a booger on your's".... his Stepford wife replied.
Passive aggressiveness at it's absolute finest folks.
Most days I really love this job...tee-hee