Friday, February 3, 2012

The post with no name...

I couldn't choose a proper name for this thread

I gotta crow... made me sound like a rooster.

A queen amongst women
.... ahh, may be a bit self serving.

So you think you can think,

Tuesday's Life Skills class (read Monday's post here to understand my dynamic plan) was da good in fact that I was forced to simply bubble over with excitement each and every single time I told one of my co-workers/supervisor(s)/the cashier at Meijer the story of my plan, it's execution and storybook like ending.

Poetry in motion, fer sure.

Yes sir reee bob, Tuesday's class proved my near genius approach was in it's implementation, pure genius.

A supportive co-worker and a real, live grown-up reformed (successful, educated Master level teacher at an Alternative Ed High School) former loveable (herself) to give the presentation couldn't have been better co-stars.

I have a kink in my neck from so much back patting.

I was riding so high on the cleverness of me (and my co-stars, but mostly me me me, even though it was my co-worker who discovered and invited our speak) that I failed to remember the golden rule of working with kids.

Just when you think you've figured them out you've thought too much.

The self administered back patting went on all day Wednesday and most of Thursday too.

On Thursday, just like I'd done with Tuesday's class I gave this new group of loveables "the talk" and walked them into the classroom.

They eyed up the speaker, took the treats I offered and instantly (the moment their lil bums hit the seats) began squirming.

One loveable put his head back, his eyes rolled upward (seizure like) and his mouth hung open...(his resting position I later learned)

Another sat at a 180 degree angle (away from teacher) and watched out the window.

He ignored didn't notice my frantic hand signals to face forward.

One female youth was scrunched down so low in her seat only her back was teetering on it and her eyes were level with her desk top.

Ohhh freakin brother....

When I went to close the door a loveable was coming down the hall... cell phone in hand, ear buds in place, music spilling out.

He yanked one ear bud out and inquired "Is dis da Life Skills class?".

"Yeah" I answered "it started 15 minutes ago, come in, get a seat and pay attention".

"Ohh, and please put your phone away, no phones, no music" I added.

"FUCK" he yelled.

ohh goodness gracious he certainly could use a Kit Kat or some red licorice..

which during Tuesday's class had proven to be the answer to all my prayers.

He shook his head no when I offered the candy.

When he took his seat he put the ear buds back in and cranked up the tunes.

My co-worker nudged him and told him the same thing I did.

It worked just as well the second time it was delivered.

And the third and fourth,

the fifth and the sixth time too.

He finally yanked out the buds and huffed and puffed until the speaker was done with her presentation.

This group was told (like Tuesday's group) that they could win a food card by asking questions.

One kid asked one question (which greatly upped his chances to be the lucky winner in our drawing).

When the speaker and the kids had stared at one another for an uncomfortable 10 minutes she began to gather her things, uttered the appropriate niceties "thanks for having me and it was a pleasure" and all that jazz and our only outside witness then walked out the door.

"It's way too hot in here" a loveable complained.

"Can we leave now?" another one asked.

"I can't be in here much longer" one said.

Along with hair on the back of my neck my internal thermostat was beginning to rise.

I was starting to sweat like a virgin on prom night.

(you chuckled didn't you?)

I decided to take the loveables downstairs to get a bite to eat...(when you have nothing at all left in your bag of tricks, food is always a good go to option)

(It works especially well with animals in the wild.)

Once again I had loveables spilling into every crevice of my small kitchen.

Ear bud man/child helped himself to open my freezer door, I didn't notice him take out two ice creams (always the frickin ice cream...kwim).

When I saw an ice cream in one of their hands I made him give it up and I tossed it in the trash..

"You punks don't just go in my fridge, this is like Grandma's house, you're probably gonna get whatever it is you ask for, but you gotta ask, understand...??"

"You keep yer mitts offa my crap... get it?"

"Sorry lady" ear bud lied.

He continued to rub every nerve in my body raw with his antics.

At one point, when I saw him with an ice cream hiding in his lap, I told him to leave.

He wasn't compliant with that request either.

Later, when recounting the evening in case note fashion (notes placed in an electronic reporting system to be read and reviewed by the youth's probation officers, jurist/Judge) I placed flowery reports saying things like "no respect for authority figures" and "this behavior will not be tolerated" and other such pleasantries.


Later when replaying the evening in my head the embarrassment, the irritation, the hurt, the sadness, the disappointment all came out.

After a few minutes wallowing in self pity,

I suddenly realized I was sooooo hungry,

I was famished,


I grabbed the bag of goodies and I ate a Kit Kat, some red licorice, a Butterfinger (or two), a Nestle Crunch and then I waited patiently for my Ulcerative Colitis to kick in.

And if I had to work today I would totally be calling in dead, I wouldn't be able to keep a stiff upper lip when the "sooo how'd it go last night?" (s) started.


  1. I'm reminded of the "Monday's child" poem. Substitute class for child and it would look like this:
    "Tuesday's class is full of grace"
    "Thursday's class has far to go"
    Hope your weekend gives you some time to recover. :) xoxo

  2. Ugh :( Sorry it didn't go so well.
    Take a deep breath and hold that head up high. Your voice does make a difference to some, just not the ones with earbuds stuffed in their ears.

  3. I would give you an A++++ for trying though. Sorry it didn't work out.

  4. Thanks Corey.. thanks for always being such a wonderful cheerleader for me and my causes. xoxo

  5. Awwwww Viki, thanks for that A++++++... it sure means a lot.


  6. Hiya kimi... I love your poem (and you)