If I had a nickel for every time I had some hair brained idea that started as a nugget of gold in my heart and blossomed into a hair brained plan that tried really hard to live up to my expectations.. yet managed to fall flat on its face and melt like butter on a scalding hot sidewalk I'd probably be having a secretary typing this blog for me...
and a butler to tie my shoes,
and a personal chef,
and someone to hand feed me (peeled) purple grapes...
I'd be that damn filthy rich.
One of those nuggets had me daydreaming about the loveables doing some type of giving back random act of kindness this holiday season.
They had a few bucks in a stash they'd earned by doing a recycling project.
Not really enough to make a dent in my fantasy project.
But, (if their fearless leader had enough ballzs) we could borrow from the general fund and pay it back later with a bake sale or some other low paying big-ass project.
(She (me) was stupid enough to gather those borrowed funds)
I spouted my poetry laden, watercolor, misty eyed game plan to the thugs and they grunted their approval..
Ohhhh, this was going to be simply lovely... I could feel it in my bones.
With a hundred bucks burning a hole in my pocket I drove to the big box Meijer store in our town.
I spoke with the manager and told him that a
"No one has done anything like that here, I don't think" he said with a big grin.
Back at the Mill we gathered the posse and armed them with poinsettia decorated papers proclaiming the receiver "A recipient of a random act of kindness" which were to be given, with the gift cards and a small explanation to the people of their choosing.
I'd asked the cashier that sold me the gift cards to ring the gift cards up separately so that they'd all carry a taped on the back receipt, proving they'd were authentic and had been paid for... (hot damn, I sure was thinking straight).
The lovables were instructed to case the joint and find someone they deemed "worthy" to be surprised and delighted and totally blown away by their random act of kindness.
I know now I should have held some kind of pre-screening effort.
"Gift cards in aisle 9... free to the first 10 or so people who smile and act pleasantly surprised and grateful by these young people's actions."
Yes, in hind site, I shuda known betta....
I didn't count on my loveables scaring people.
When three of them (all different shades of chocolate) ran up to an old white haired (Pillsbury flour colored) woman, she clutched her handbag and looked for an escape route.
"NOOOO, I don't want anything" wild eyed, she cried, as the boys attempted to give her a card.
As this same scenario happened again and again I felt the wind leaving my sails...
(It's okay Marmie, I know you just put your hand to your mouth and said "ohhhh noooo" shaking your head)
The people who did receive the gifts had to be patient and had to have been gifted with really good ears to hear the kids projectile vomit- whisper their giving speech...
"hereyougoweraisedthismoneyatourschoolandweboughtgiftcardsandwechooseyou.... (a small breath)
I'd asked one of the staff to bring a camera to record the momentous occasion of the implementation of my most recent grandioso idea.
He couldn't figure out how to turn it on.
And when he did, he wasn't fast enough to capture the kids delivering the cards (diarrhea attack style) to the lucky gifted.
Or the people took one look at our motley crew and declined to be caught in a photo op with our gang.
Ohhh, the disappointment welled in me like a Great Lake...
And I was mad at all the stupid people, the ones who it appeared couldn't see past the color of the skin of my loveables or ignore their thugwear.. the ones who couldn't pause for a moment and hear what they were trying to say, the shoppers who rudely shook their heads no as they put up their hand to wave us off...
Stupid plan ruining bastards.
How could they not see past the clothes and the piercings and the tattoos and the swaggers to see the hearts behind the hands that offered the cards...?
In my planning I never gave that a thought.
When the second to the last card was given away we got the recipient of my dreams..
well, she didn't do a cartwheel or sob with sheer joy or anything like that... but she did get teary eyed and say "ohh my goodness, this is sooo nice, no one ever gives me anything, let me hug you, here let me hug you all"....
Back at school I was worried about rehashing what had just happened, but I felt it necessary...
"What did you guys think about our random act of kindness event? I asked and waited for the egg to be cracked on my head or the pie to be thrown in my face.
"THAT WAS AWESOME" one of my loveables said...
"We need to do that again" another one added...
Maybe I'm rubbing off on them after all... their brains had turned to sugar plums.
The event surely wasn't the Norman Rockwell'esque event of my heart led imagination, however, I felt the stirrings of a nugget that could very well morph into next year's plan.
So this is Christmas...