Monday, December 5, 2011

Bible soup for the soul....

I've been feeling a tad under the weather lately.

Dizziness and an upset stomach seem to be the symptom(s) du jour...

So I stand up from a crouching position (don't ask) and the room spins like I've had about 14 rum and cokes.

I've been thinking brain tumor,

and the nausea fits right in.

It could also be the beginning of kidney failure...

I take lots of powerful meds for my bloody poo issues.

My thoughts have been working overtime trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

I've been moping around carrying bucketfuls of worries and fears and anxiety (and a shitload of Google'd possible/probable maladies ) for what seems like weeks.

Daddio isn't used to that kind of me... I'm usually clue-less-ly carefree and happy go lucky dippy....

lately I'm more of a wet blanket, the sky is surely falling, kind of sea-hag-y, hormonal, feel super sorry for myelf kinda gal.

Yesterday that poor man got so frustrated trying to pry my jowls and my pout-y lips off the ground that he ordered me to the exercise bike...

and he suggested that I read the Bible whilst I attempted to peddle my problems away (or kill myself with over exertion..either way, he would get a much needed break from my neurosis(es).

"I've tried to read the Bible" I tell him "I just can't seem to get into it".

"It's too hard to understand, too confusing".

"Too many names and far away places for me to connect....ya know?"

"Just open it up" he suggests "just open it up and start reading"...

I tell him you can't just open it up and start reading, how would I know what is "going on"...

"The Bible is not a novel... it has no beginning and end.."

"Just read...and RIDE" he says.

Well who the hell woulda thunk that that hunk o mine could be called a Preacher man...

After a half hour of peddling for all I was worth ( and sweatin like a pig)

and some good ol open up the Good Book and just read(ing)

I felt like a new woman.

And like I totally could handle what ever it was that may be handed to me.

Faith is a powerful healer.

And a mind clearer...

(when I finally cleared the hypochondriac-dical (no, that is not a real word, but this is my damn blog and I can make up words any time I feel like it...oooo-tay) shit from my brain I got to doing a bit of detective work and figured out that the pharmacy tried to play a switch-er-roo with some of my meds and recently gave me a generic... about a month ago I started on these new pills.. hmmm, around the same time as my brain tumor started...)

PS... as always I am not making fun of people who suffer from terrible things, being sick is one of my greatest fears, writing about it takes some of the fear's power away..and so does Bible reading, I highly recommend it.)

Thanks for listening..and a happy freakin ass Moanday to you all... poo-poo-peeee-do.

Oh, one last thought....

"When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around,
Heaven opens a magic lane.

When all the clouds darken up the skyway,
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun,
Just a step beyond the rain."

(Seldom used introduction lyrics to the song Somewhere over the rainbow, beautiful, aren't they?...)



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