Thursday, December 1, 2011

Assuming the worst... (I'm super good at that)

What's that dumb saying about assuming...?

When you assume you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"... (duh)

My dad has spent the last two days recovering in the hospital, to the untrained eye (and ear) he is the perfect patient, never complaining, polite and friendly.. to those of us who know him well, his suffering is about a 10+ on the discomfort-get me the frick outta here meter.

It was hard to see his large flat feet hanging a foot over the edge of the bed...

And even harder to hear him giving my step mom step by step directions on feeding his beloved dogs over the phone.

While he was in the hospital his basement sprung a leak, his rental property's living room flooded, his brother in law was put on life support, and the old man across the street began hand delivering the mail to his woman...(uh-huh, wink, exactly what I was thinking)...

Ohh, and the cherry on top was my dad being moved from his private room to another room because the room was leaking (yes, Michigan was under siege)..

With all this bullhicky going on at home the last place Bobby Blue Eyes wanted to be was in the hospital laying next to a stranger coughing up a lung every six seconds or so.

Sooo not his comfort zone.

In the meantime, his bookend, my stepmother was home alone and taking care of dogs, and basement leaks and praying for sick brothers, and getting handed her mail from some ancient lothario opportunist...

shit, it was bad, real bad....

I've been keeping tabs on the entire gang (in my usual control freak manner) and seriously, I am pooped and ready for things to get back to normal.

The crack up is that I'm really not doing anything other than worrying myself into an "episode".

And it appears I'm on high alert for anyone else suffering one as well.

My step mom called one evening and asked a very odd question, in her sweet southern drawl she asked "B-aaaath, do you know where your dad is?"

My heart sank..... she really was lost without him.

Using a compassion filled voice I answered back softly "Sweetie, my dad is in the hospital"

She was quiet while she processed my answer...

Then she replied.... "why you DUMMY, I KNOOOOOW where your dad IS!!!! I was wondering if you knew his new room number...."

Ass-out of u and me.....

I got an ass chewing...and believe you me, it felt great.

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