Insurance can come in all shapes and thicknesses....

Dear sweet diary... I'd like to start this journal entry off by saying that I'm making all kinds of effort to not talk incessantly about my empty nest...

It's getting old...

And who wants to read the same old crap day after day anyway?

I want to tell you all about Googie and Trouble's wedding (it was AMAZING and every other word that tries to describe even more amazing than AMAZING..)

It was all that.

And I do plan to tell you everything...

However,

I've got a couple of issues that are preventing me from spillin the beans..

The most pronounced being... I simply can't put into words what I want to say about it.

I can gush on and on (and on and on) about it but there needs to be more substance than just saying things like "the whole day was magical" and "everything went perfectly"...

Seriously though... who wouldn't want a few gory details...?

I can tell you a little story about Marmie...(she can be a bit meddling sometimes)

(and pushy)

(and insensitive)

(and a trouble maker)

It all started with a bathroom visit, her first, the minute she walked in the door from the airport.

"My gawd Elizabeth your toilet paper is hor-ri-ble" Marmie complained.

"It is sooo thin that when I tried to wipe my fingernails went right through it!!!"

"Would you like a nail brush?" (was all I could think to say to counter her attack).

(She wasn't amused)

She took her complaints/concerns/slightly unsanitary fingernails to Googie, hoping to garner some sympathy and support.

And well of course that bimbo sided with her grandmother and they made fun of me and my household.

"Yes grandma" Googie said (nearly hysterical) "we always feel right at home in a gas station restroom"

"Nothing like wiping your can with a maple leaf..."

"Or a Brillo pad"...

The toilet paper situation continued to be a bone of contention the whole while Marmie was here.

At every opportunity she shot daggers and digs about it.

"Mother" I tried to explain, one last time "I happen to like the security of that toilet paper.. the kids can't jam the toilet the paper dissolves sooo fast!"

"LIZZY" Marmie hollered... "you don't have ANY kids here anymore to jam annnn-ey-thing"

Wow...talk about a low blow.

And an empty nest.