Monday, October 10, 2011

The post with no name....

I almost (but not quite) had a complete and total breakdown at the grocery store yesterday.

As usual, they were out of one of my favorite items,

..... the hand sanitizer located at the door when you first walk in..

I don't touch the community carts sans sanitizer.

Too risky.

So this day when I walk in and discover that the container is ab-so-lute-ly empty,

(except for an inch of liquid sanitizer hanging out in the bottom of the bag which I could and have used in the past for such an emergency.. but which may (or may not) have been responsible for a couple of very embarrassing incidences of hives appearing all over my arms and face when I have used the liquid-y liquid to wash my cart handle w/o the benefit of a small towelette...)

Frick....where the hell was I.. ?

oh yeah, so this day when I walk in and discover that the container is ab-so-lute-ly empty I am lucky enough to almost walk into (as in a face to face bump and greet) a grocery store employee walking toward me...

"Excuse me" I say "you are out of cart sanitizer."

She smiled at me and said "uh-huh."

Yes, she did.

Then added "yep... all out!"

My panties started tightening and began crawling up my arse

Into a bunch.

"Ummm could you get more?"

"You want more?" she asked (with a smirk)

Seriously.... I almost saw teeth.

What the frick...

As my panties continued bunching I got more irritated...

"DO YOU HAVE MORE?" I asked (really) politely (through clenched teeth)

"Yeah" she said "we have some."

We looked at each other waiting for someone to make the next move..

I stepped up.

"Could you go find some?" I asked (smoke threatening to pour from my ears)

"Yes, I could" she said.

And still made no move to move.

"Do you want them now?" she asked.

Ohhhh freakin holy brother...

I glance around for a camera...surely, this is some kind of joke.

MTV's Boiling Point...?

Candid Camera..?

That stupid television show "What Would YOU Do...?"

"Okay" she said "I'll go now."

She smiled again, turned and headed toward the back of the store.

I waited for so long for her to return that an employee stocking produce came over and asked if I needed help..

(Yesssssssssssssssss arse-hole you could say I need some freakin azz help here...ANDDDDDDDD, I want to see a manager right this instant...the store front is out of cart sanitizer YET AGAIN and I have just been emotionally accosted by one of your freakin azz smart azz fellow yeah, I need some help)

"WELL!!!" I said " I just told a store employee of my plight, that being, the store has no cart sanitizer in the container...and when I did... she stared at me, laughed at me, asked me some very unnecessary questions and then just stood there until I asked her repeatedly to please fetch a fresh container...".


"Was she a mature woman with brown wavy hair?" he asked.

"YEP!!!" I answered "that would be the one".

"Is she normally that way with customers?" I asked.

"Yes she is" he answered.

"She is a very special lady, she comes to us from a program that helps those who are developmentally disabled, she's a great lady, and we try here to be patient with her"...

Hoooo doggie, with the lightening strike I was fully expecting to experience I was never so thankful to be  wearing rubber soles.

edited to add... I am in no way (no freakin damn way) poking fun at anyone but my freakin dumb azz self for being such a freakin dumb azz...


  1. Oh. Have I ever been there. I may or may not have a summer home there. A lovely condo on the beach of Lake I Wish I Had Kept My Mouth Shut.

  2. ohh it is so so so nice to know I am not alone.



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