Monday, April 18, 2011

Two for one....

Bear visited a friend at his off campus apartment over the weekend.

He came home with an odd request and an apartment application.

Bear wants to leave home to attend school.

He would leave in August... a bit before his sister permanently changes her address.

I'm not ready to be totally empty nested...not ready at all.

No matter where Bear chooses to attend school, one thing is perfectly clear...

Bear should be going to school to become an attorney.

Like a good attorney, his mind is lightening fast.

And so are his retorts, his counters, and his comebacks.

He exhausts me.

He overwhelms me.

He pecks at my nerves and my reserves until I wave a white flag and wimper "uncle".

The life of a third child, I guess.

You have to be loud (not to mention convincing and rhetorically gifted)...

You have to be all that...or maybe just be able to play your mother like an old fiddle.

So Bear wants to leave me.

And our happy home.

What nerve.

For every rebuttal I had, Counselor Bear had seven.

Finally, he brought up "date night"...

Daddio and I reserve Friday nights as "date night"...

We ask that our grown children make plans to be away from home for the evening.

Go somewhere, out to eat, to the show, give your Dad and I some alone time.

In other words, kids, if the house is a rockin don't come a knockin...

Bear is not so understanding about date night... (he's made it clear as day that he doesn't want to lose his "baby of the family" status)...

He sends texts on date night...

"how much longer do I have to stay away from home?" he will ask... about a cold shower.

or, on Saturday morning he will complain,

"do you have any idea how much gas can be wasted circling the block for hours waiting for your parents to be done doin what-evvvvvver it is that they may be doing that they want you to leave the house for?"

(he really does say stuff like that)

"The nasty" Bear, that's what they call "it" right...?" sometimes I just can't help myself.

So yesterday as Bear was pleading his case as to why he should be allowed to move from the safety of our home and into a wild bachelor pad some 140 miles from his dear and devoted mother...

The wheels in his brain were cranking so fast I was smelling smoke...

As his closing argument, using all the charm of an award winning furniture salesman Bear delivers his final statement...

"Just think" Bear says "you and Dad could have date night every could have DATE WEEK"!!!!!!

Daddio, in passing, replied "what are you trying to do kid? kill me?"

My gut tells me this issue is not going to find a place on the back burner.

Bear is on a mission.


  1. What grade is he in? Is it like a boarding school?

  2. Viki... with a very red face I shall answer your question...he is a young adult, 19. But still, it will kill me to "lose" both the children still living at home to marriage and college (2 hours away).. is is time? Certainly, but that doesn't make it any easier. Thanks for reading!! xo

  3. Oh man Koby, you crack me up. My family is sitting in the other room wondering what I'm laughing at on the computer. I have a feeling you just may not win this one. hang in there sister! ;)

  4. Kim(i) J... I have a feeling you may be right... sigh.


  5. Dear PPB: Sit down with Bear and look at his budget. Write out everything he likes to do and must have, include laundry, gas, food, condoms (yes I said condoms)everything.

    List his income..Remind him that you provide food, gas money, toilet paper etc and let him know that you would be unable to provide any extra money..Help him see if he sign a LEASE on the apartment he will be liable for the entire time signed for and it would be up to him to find another roommate if one of these do not work out....

    Explain to him that the joy of being on your own becomes a HELL ON EARTH when any of these variables change...Bear sees his world in money and logic..He can be convinced.....LOL Mom


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