"Mom" the minute I heard her voice I knew something was wrong.
"What?...WHAT'S WRONG????!!!!" I jump from my normal hysterical self to certified nut case when I hear that tone.
"Is a citation the same thing as a ticket?" sniffle, sniffle.
"I told you, I told you , I told you this was gonna happen...didn't I????? arrrghhhhh.
"Ohhhhhh I don't need this right now, I gotta go" sniffle sniffle.
"Wait, don't hang up, you need to stop crying, you'll get in an accident, don't hang up, please.... I'll stop" aaargggghhhh.
Later when she got home she was furious..."Why are you so mad" I asked her " because you got caught"?
She didn't know why...she just was.
I am a bit of a back seat driver and a bona fide nag when I'm anywhere but the driver's seat. Slow down, don't tailgate, make sure you stop all the way, watch for that car, watch for that pothole, watch for that, watch for that, watch for that....
"The next time I drive you anywhere...you will be wearing a muzzle" she told me recently after a lengthy road trip.
"I am very tired of your telling me what to do....I am a good driver and I don't have any tickets and so you need to back off, and I mean it"....(feisty little thing this daughter of mine).
Ok...so being the first born child and knowing that all children that come after me (including my own) can and will be subject to my very own personal brand of torture...I really really really badly want to rub it in.
I'd chant "I told you so I told you so I- t- o- l -d -y- o- u -s -ooooooo...."
I'd whisper every chance I got "Smarty pants, you should have listened."
I would sing, "You should have listened...you should have l-i-s-t-e-n-ed!"
"Now seeeeee what happened...seeeeee seeeeee what happened".
If I told her once, I’ve told her a hundred and fifty seven times a little red car and a pint sized foot made of lead...don't mix.
She tells me she is going to pay for this ticket. I tell her that her dad and I paid for her brothers when they got a ticket and that she would also be allowed to have one Get Out of Jail Free card...she's digging her heels in on this one..she is going to pay.
I think I finally got to the bottom of the anger...and the determination to pay this ticket herself.
Yesterday she made the comment that she was now a delinquent, a trouble maker...a no good rotten kid.
She forgot to add....tainted, corrupted, and fouled.
This child (she believes) has taken a fall from Grace....
And to pay the ticket herself...she'd still keep her standing as the Good Kid in the family. The Responsible One...the One Most Likely To never break the Bank of Mom and Dad, or their hearts either.
(I want this publicly known...you little girl are perfect in every way, no traffic ticket, not even going 80 in a 70 zone in a little red car talking a mile a minute on your cell phone to Trouble is going to change that. You, my dear, really do walk on water as far as you loving father and I are concerned….
I hope you know that.
Love, Dr Mom...(the armchair psychologist)
(Googie your mama loves you...more than life itself)