My beautiful beautiful beautiful beautifulllllll boy....

"Mom, whatcha doin" he says when I answer the phone.

"Nuthin, whatdda ya need? I reply..

"I need a haircut, we have a Christmas party Friday night and my hair looks like hell" he says.

"Come on over, I can do it right now" I tell him.

When I hang up the phone I do a little dance. Daddio looks at me kind of weird like.

"Oh man" I say, "my kid needs a hair cut" I twirl around the kitchen as I talk.

I'm giddy waiting for him to come.

I get my haircutting things ready and when he gets there I take my good ol time doing the job.

There aren't many times you can get away with mauling your adult son...while giving a hair cut is one of those times.

I touch his cheeks, multiple times.

I lift his chin and force him to peer into my eyes (I tell him he needs to look me straight in the eye so I can make sure his sideburns are even... teee-heee).

"Hold still, and let me get all this hair off of you" I say as I clean his neck with my fingers.

"MOM, stop it....I can feel you sniffin my neck, cut it out"  he yells and swats at me.

"I wasn't sniffin your neck" I lie.

(I needed a fix real bad....it's been a long time.)

The kid with the good smellin neck and the woman who worships the ground he walks on.

It is hard....

to really truly hate winter when it can be so utterly beautiful.

Note (Prayer) to my (our) Heavenly Father..."Dear Lord please can you hold off on sending any of this stuff to the lovely state of Michigan until the 24th of December? And please Sir, could you make it be after the hour of 9pm on that date so that I know my loved ones are safe and sound and cozy in their homes and not driving down some crazy freeway with a bunch of people drunk from Christmas parties? That would be wonderful. Thanks in advance....xoxoxxoxoxo

When things runneth over......

Opening night for Googie’s show Seussical the Musical last night. She’s been doing theater for so long that I just assumed she didn’t get stage fright anymore. Watching her in and out of the bathroom all day long told me otherwise. (Sorry kid...nuthin is sacred when it comes to mom's blog).



I was frustrated that I could do nothing to help her.


My rapid fire line of questioning doesn’t usually sit real well with her on a regular day, so today, the day of opening night I try really hard not to do it.


Anything to make today easier. And her trips to the bathroom, less.


Yesterday was Trouble’s 21st birthday and Googie wanted very much to make it nice for him. She went to his house and homemade him some wonderful cinnamon/walnut/brown sugar pinwheels in the morning.


She brought a couple home..and I have to say, I was quite impressed.


Not only cute, the kid can bake too.


She’s had a few mishaps in the kitchen. Once she doubled the amount of sugar in the crust of a pie…Trouble and his parents ate it and proclaimed it “ really sweet, but very good”.


(And their noses didn't even grow a centimeter ;-)


She’s getting to be such a good baker that her dad has dropped her nickname (Ellie Mae Clampett). He gave it to her after sampling one of her made from scratch muffins that could have doubled as a hockey puck.

The day went quickly and when we were 15 minutes from leaving I asked her to come and lay down on my bed for a couple of minutes.


I put on the fan to drown out the sounds of the house, and turned off the light.


I rubbed her tiny back and shoulders. I massaged her legs and small arms.


I told her not to talk, just be still and let the stress go.


She said it helped.


I was happy that no one was sitting next to me while I watched her sing and dance.


I found myself spilling over into the seat next to me…and the seat next to that one.


My pride swelled so large and so did my heart.


I truly, seriously almost burst.

This is not how she looks in the show...this was just a silly picture she sent to me the other day with the message "Gertrude McFuzz loves you".

Whip it good.....A "report" no consumer can afford to miss. :-)

In order to help our budget, I've been trying a couple of new things to save some money…you know, every little bit counts.

We’ve got a kid in college, one just married and still frequenting the Bank of Mom & Dad, and a teen in his senior year of high school.

We also support two dogs, one scrawny over eater and one big boned Chihuahua who is currently recovering from a $150.00 case of the sniffles.

Translation: We are broke as hell.

And we need to find places to save money.

A former name brand only girl I now find myself choosing brands like Kroger, Meijer, Red White and Blue, and Value brand..….

I never really considered myself a name brand snob or anything like that; I think I bought name brand because that is what my mother did. And because I grew up eating these things and I figured since I could count on them to be consistantly good they were worth the extra flow.

Del Monte had the best beans and Campbell’s, the best soup.

And don’t even get me started on how amazingly delicious Bird’s Eye frozen corn is.

So since I’ve gone “thrifty” I’ve made a few discoveries.

I’ll share them with you. This information could save you some time (and spare you a stomach ache).

Vegetables…(according to a cute television commercial from Meijers) are vegetables.

Corn is corn and beans are beans.

I guess in theory there isn’t much anyone can do to mess that up…and while that should be true, I've discovered that it sometimes isn't.

I’ve also taken note that there is a huge price difference between a can of no brand green beans and Del Monte green beans…but price my friends is not the only difference.

And surprisingly, taste isn’t what I’m referring to either… I’ve found that almost every single can of name brand (namely, Del Monte) green beans contains at least one stem and many times TWO or more hard, fibrous green bean stems.

I’m thinking that possibly the Del Monte’s Quality Control Department’s staff is imported from Bangladesh… earning approximately $0.13 per hour in U.S. funds.

I probably shouldn’t be sayin that the lovely people from Bangladesh (who stuff our cans and check to make sure a feral cat hasn't fallen into the bean sorting machine) don’t care about what kind of crap they allow to take up space with the green beans…but, really when you think about it, the 13 cents an hour probably has them adopting a “Who gives a shit what these American creeps eat?” attitude.

And who could blame them?

Next up, tuna…. It used to be the off brand had bits and pieces of, um, well I’m not exactly sure what the bits and pieces are. But, they are black and look disgusting.

I also found that a 7 oz can usually contained 6.5 ozs of stinky water.

And the other .5 ozs left in the can was waterlogged and tasteless.

Things have changed on the tuna front…now, it’s the name brand tuna (Starkist) that is filled with the unappetizing bits of black stuff.

The Kroger/ Meijer brand tuna is delicious....and all white.

To go with that delicious tuna one would need to purchase some kind of salad dressing to mix it with.

Recently I decided to try some “Real Mayo” from Kroger. Much cheaper than my beloved Hellmans.

Total waste of money….

Remember the wintergreen paste that you ate by the finger full when you were in Kindergarten art class?

Minus the delightful minty wintergreen flavor and you have yourself a lil sample of Kroger brand Real Mayo.

At the same time I bought a jar of Kroger “Classis Whip” to replace Daddio’s Miracle Whip.

The Classic Whip isn’t much better than the Real Mayo. It has a tangy sickly sweet flavor that would probably be palatable if it weren’t for the texture.

Nickelodeon Slime minus the green.

I’d like to add that I’ve not eaten Nickelodeon Slime…but if I did I am certain it would taste just like Kroger’s Classic Whip.

Slimy.

Since these products do come with a money back guarantee and I’ll be making a trip back to Kroger.

“Reason for return?” asks the nice, friendly (okay, a girl can dream, can't she) Kroger clerk.

“Not suitable for human consumption” The Chump (that would be me) who bought this off brand crap would answer.

“Any suggestions as to how we could improve this product?” K clerk

“A bit of wintergreen flavoring may help”. I will offer.

Bark at the moon.......

Watch your step today...it's another full moon. And all the crazies are sure to be out.

 I, as evidenced by the photo above, will be spending most of my time indoors doing domestic chores.

A woman's work never really is done, is it?

And some have the unmitigated gall to wonder why we are so moody.

Random firings amidst my grey matter......

1. Why am I the only one that can let the dogs out?


2. Why, when I have the misfortune of thinking of certain songs, do they set up camp in my head? This crap will be jockeying for space with the other bazillion random thoughts that pop in and out of my noggin for days and days and days and days and days and days and days to come….one such example.



The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid he was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine

The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid he was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine

The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid he was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine

(The above lyrics are truly in this song, in the exact order I posted them…the song originally recorded by WAR used to drive my dad nuts. I remember being in the car with him and listening to that song “Man, I could be a millionaire songwriter right now kids” he would say “I could write a song just as good” and then he would sing some cheesy made up lyrics.

“I am a truck driver from nine to five
  I am a truck driver from nine to five
  I am a truck driver from nine to five
  I drive a truck from nine to five”

HILARIOUS

3. Why do I always pick the wrong lane/line? I contemplate which I think will be the fastest. Weighing issues like, who is behind the wheel, or the shopping cart? How fast do you think they can place all their groceries on the belt? Or their banking in the canister? Who is behind the glass or the cash register? If the person is sportin a tallywacker (he guys, no offense meant…I’m just sayin) be he old, young or somewhere in-between…forget it, I move on down the line or lane…still, I am always wrong. I manage always to be in the slowest line no matter which lane/line I choose.

4. I think I’m going to waste some of my precious time writing a letter to the drug companies that manufacture all the medicine that I take/use for my colitis…”Why do all the drugs have to contain the word “ASS”? Is this some kind of joke? Don’t you think those of us using this crap for our asses know it is for our ass?

“I need to refill my ASSacol, or my CanASSa. Should I start back up on my ASSacort? (I hate being in line at the pharm and having to use all these ASS words...especially if the clerk is sportin a.....,  nevermind, you get the picture.)


The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
He drink whiskey, Poncho drink the wine
He drink whiskey, Poncho drink the wine

( I’ve moved on to a different part of the song…things may be lookin up).

Have a stupendous day!!!! And feel free to use this space to add some ramblings of your own.

A random picture to go with this post. (In case Al ever wonders, really wonders WHY I hate having my picture taken.)

I always look a little weird in my pictures...there is a famous quote in our family, it comes from my grandfather Ed,

My grandmother looking at a picture of herself "Jesus Christ, I look like I'm a 100 years old"

Her darling husband in response "Pictures don't lie Soph".

TRUE CONFESSIONS......

My name is Beth and I am an addict....

This has to be a sin.