Foaming at the mouth.....

I woke up this morning somewhat tense and in the foulest of foul moods. It took a couple of minutes for me to realize that I was stressing over a dream.

In the dream I was talking to a woman on the phone, it appeared from our conversation that she was from the bank. By the things she was saying I took it that she was going over each and every one of our check/debit card transactions.

One by one she listed where we'd shopped and what we spent.

As she continued, I figured she may be instead from a debt solutions place. She commented on our every purchase.

Line by line she read and reacted.

I didn't feel any rationalization was due when she started picking on large purchase(s) from Perfumania.

Or the one from Victoria's Secret.

I hated being treated like an errant child.

I was starting to get real pissed off until she said "Ummm, here is a $364.00 purchase made at the Rockwood Bar and Grill".

Huh?

"And how long ago was that" I snapped.

"Two days ago" she answered.

"How could someone spend $364.00 at the Rockwood Bar and Grill?" I continued.

I was starting to get a bit indignant, I just knew this was some kind of stupid bank mistake.

"It was spent on a gambling machine" she quiped "and staff tips".

My chest tightened, my face flushed.....

I was going to kill that freakin man...that idiot. The inconsiderate, selfish clod. How dare he!!! He was gonna pay for this one. And big.

Daddio gambling at the Rockwood Bar and Grill!!! Maybe he bought himself a couple of lap dances too while he was there.

(Pooooor pooooor poor Daddio. He doesn't gamble, nor use his debit card for anything other than an occasional gallon or two of gas or a set of guitar strings. There is no Rockwood Bar and Grill. And according to Daddio himself, who swears on all that is holy, that he's never ever paid anyone to squat on his lap and grind....at least he doesn't ever remember ever doing something as vile and rotten as that.)

I'll be spending today making things up to him...I growled and tried to bite him when he leaned in to give me a good morning smooch.

Could it be...

…… Satan?????

There are things in our world and even more specifically our lives that reek of pure evil. We don’t have to ask could it be Satan. We already know.

Webster’s Dictionary explains to us that in Christianity, the devil (Satan) is of course the enemy of God, the lord of evil, and the tempter of human beings.

I am certain Satan has wormed his way into my house.

As Christians we’re taught Satan’s a crafty fellow who if allowed, will infiltrate (and possibly take over) your life.

So aside from having moments of acting “Satan like” (while suffering spells of perimenopausal irritation)…I’ve also looked Beelzebub right in the ugly mug.

And this is the vessel ....this right here is Satan

This little devil magnifies your imperfections 10 times.

TEN TIMES!!!!!

Satan whispers into your ear..."Look at that hair on your chin, it has to be a foot long. And that 2x2 crater holding that black crap on the side of your nose...ewwwww"

"Pluck it"

"Pick it"

"Pick it"

"PICK ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"

Weak obedience.

The mischief maker's work is done here.

Where else will he turn up?

In a pretty dish in my fridge.

This sin goes by the name of Cinabon

One bite I tell myself, just one little bite.

Okay, half, just eat half.

Well, if you stop before you lick the plate......

All the while Beelze cheers me on.....

"10,000 calories, 549 grams of fat, (its gotta be a typo....)"

"Its so gooey and delicious, eat girl, eat".

Once again, the weak obeys.

I suffer a stomach ache. And a headache. And a general feeling of all over shit. Cinnamon is poison for my colitis.

Anybody know a good exorcist?