Thursday, September 3, 2009

The broken, battered, very bruised ego......

She is probably so sick of hearing “if it is meant for you, it will not go by you” and “maybe next time” and “please don’t give up”.

In my desperate attempt to bolster her broken heart…I try to think up all sorts of “you can get through this” and “things will start looking up” and “it will soon be your time” words and phrases.

I don’t think she believes me anymore.

And, honestly, I am starting to not believe me either.

My darling daughter, the blue sky of my existence lost out on another part last night.

As a community theater actor she’s been suffering a lengthy and serious lack of a good part....a major drought.

It pains me so looking into the cornflower blue pools that are her tear filled eyes.

They leak, and I dab, and I kiss, and I cry too (but never out loud so she sees me).

I am tired of explaining to her that maybe she is too short or too blonde or too not the director’s neighbor’s brother’s girlfriend and that is why she didn’t get the part.

I am amazed that she never gives up.

It makes me proud to be her mother.

But I still worry about the long term effects of her many bruises, her constant battering.

Will my never ending cheer….. “go-go-go”, “rah-rah-rah”, “never give up”, hurt her in the long run?

I don’t want her to give up her passion.

I just want her to always and forever get up one more time than she falls down

….even if sometimes; it feels like I’m asking too much.

Thanks for listening.

5 comments:

  1. I am so sorry she didn't get the part. It sounds like she is very passionate for what she does. I do hope that she gets a good part soon.
    Being there for her and cheering her on is probably the best thing you can do, and a great help to her.

    Like I said before, I hope she gets a part soon. Good things come to those who wait...right? :)

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  2. Yeah, you are right Momma Such. I think it may be harder on my watching her be sad. It is the nature of the business and she has been doing this since she was four years old so this kind of crap is nothing new.

    Thanks for the comment.

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  3. Oh WOW, this is so clever - you have the most gorgeous site here and I had to stop by to leave this comment for you – and to say hello of course ! Your posts are creative and original and you have interesting pictures. It's all perfect ! Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes....

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  4. Thanks Elise...please stop by anytime.

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  5. Although I hear, from a very good source, that the artistic (read:egotistical) world of community theater is one of the most political arenas to be in. I know her talent and beauty first hand and think she is being railroaded. No one else could have played the little witch so well. :0)

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Some bloggers write "gimme me some love".... as far as I'm concerned, I'd love some love, but I'd even take some hate, some expressions of your disgust, your outrage, mild irritation, sheer joy...whatever, I can take it, honestly I can. Just please (please) leave a comment or two and let me know what you think. Merci.