I have a girl friend who hates when her birthday comes. She gets depressed weeks before the big day and it only subsides when the day has passed.
I’m certain the depression does not come from her aversion to aging, but rather it comes from an internal barometer reading.
The reading of that barometer indicates to her that all is not well.
That yet another year has passed and she’s not where she thinks she should be.
She’s not someone’s partner, or someone’s mother. She should be somewhere else in her career.
She called me crying the other day, in the middle of birthday week meltdown, she needed a shoulder to cry on.
Scrambling for ointment or some type of dressing to put on her hurting heart, I started checking off a list of the things that she does have.
That band aid didn’t fit at all and actually it appeared to further irritate her hurting heart.
I looked deeper into my repertoire of broken heart cures and fixes and found a bit of authenticity that looked like it may be worth a try…
“Alright then, have a good cry! It does really suck that all these things that you want so badly have somehow managed to dodge your grasp.” I told her
Grabbing another dose of realism I continued,
“Maybe it is time you really go after what it is that you want. Step outside your comfort zone and do something totally out of character for you. Tell a special someone what he really means to you and what you are hoping (and longing and wishing) for”.
“AND IN THE MEANTIME…….”
“You need to be good to yourself, take some time off, and pamper yourself. Do all the things you never feel you have time or money for”.
“Celebrate you!” I begged. “You are so worth a celebration”.
“A man and a couple of kids are the icing on the cake sister…a cake you just may have to wait a bit longer to taste”.
That seemed to be what she needed to hear. The sniffles dried up and I could hear her smile.
In case she reads this today I want to give her a message….
You are one of the most generous caring people I have ever known. You are also one of the most intelligent and creative too. As a friend, I’ve never asked you for a thing that you did not deliver. You have cared about and supported my children like they were your own. You have always been smart enough to know when to bite your tongue. And wise enough to know when not to. You are brave and hardworking. And you have wonderful taste in jewelry and lipstick.
As for those men and children, (just like everything else in life) some days they are not all they’re cracked up to be.
However, if they are meant for you… they will not go by you.
(and so help me God…when they do come to you, you had better not call me and complain about, and pine for, all those days you were a footloose and fancy free single, childless woman…okay, I guess you can, and I will listen and as sure as the sun shines I will offer some cheesy advice and so on it goes).
Patience and the acceptance that you are where you are supposed to be right now in your life…that is my birthday wish for you.
Happy birthday….and many more. xoxoxoxoxoxo
I can't make pretty cakes, but if I could, I would make one just like this for you (except for the monogram initial on the top, which I would change to represent your name...tee-hee).