She is probably so sick of hearing “if it is meant for you, it will not go by you” and “maybe next time” and “please don’t give up”.
In my desperate attempt to bolster her broken heart…I try to think up all sorts of “you can get through this” and “things will start looking up” and “it will soon be your time” words and phrases.
I don’t think she believes me anymore.
And, honestly, I am starting to not believe me either.
My darling daughter, the blue sky of my existence lost out on another part last night.
As a community theater actor she’s been suffering a lengthy and serious lack of a good part....a major drought.
It pains me so looking into the cornflower blue pools that are her tear filled eyes.
They leak, and I dab, and I kiss, and I cry too (but never out loud so she sees me).
I am tired of explaining to her that maybe she is too short or too blonde or too not the director’s neighbor’s brother’s girlfriend and that is why she didn’t get the part.
I am amazed that she never gives up.
It makes me proud to be her mother.
But I still worry about the long term effects of her many bruises, her constant battering.
Will my never ending cheer….. “go-go-go”, “rah-rah-rah”, “never give up”, hurt her in the long run?
I don’t want her to give up her passion.
I just want her to always and forever get up one more time than she falls down
….even if sometimes; it feels like I’m asking too much.
Thanks for listening.