Monday, May 2, 2011

Well look what the hell the cat drug in....

The last time I updated this blog I noted that I'd caught Bear's virus... I caught it so bad in fact, that my doctor gave me a week off work.

A whole week off work, imagine that.

Well, it went faster than....

faster than,

okay, brain fart here...

Now would be the perfect time for a clever analogy...

So when I googled "analogies" to try to steal one or two the following popped up...

Enjoy (I'll be back, only using my own words and analogies)

Here, from a blog by a woman named Judy Rose... a sampling of analogies thought up by high school students...

( #4 is my favorite..)

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Happy Monday...

(Enjoying a Monday back at work after having a week off is a lot like throwing up in your mouth while trying out the dog's muzzle)...


1 comment:

  1. I love the hefty bag of vegetable soup. That is a pretty clear mental image, which is what you want from an analogy. Hope your day is muzzle free. I think.


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